In 2014, comedian, musician, podcaster and Nashvillian Chris Crofton asked the Scene for an advice column, so we gave him one. Crowning himself the "Advice King," Crofton shares his hard-won wisdom with whoever seeks it. Follow Crofton on Bluesky and Instagram (@thecroftonshow), and check out his The Advice King Anthology and Cold Brew Got Me Like podcast. To submit a question for the Advice King, email bestofbread@gmail.com.
Dear Advice King,
If Trump destroys Iran, should I still finish recording my Americana album?
—Dennis (skinny) in East Nashville
I have some good news for you, Dennis. Trump announced this week that he is giving Iran more time. Two weeks. Two weeks before he blasts Iran “back to the Stone Ages.” The whole thing is insane. Everything is insane. In a world where we look to billionaire-owned cable news channels to determine what we hold sacred, morality is considered an impediment to stock market growth. Human life is an annoying thing that gets in the way of development. Real estate developers are helping decide which countries we attack. Don’t feel like waiting for a piece of property to come up for sale? Just take it!
I wish I were exaggerating. It’s the same thing the Nazis did. Trump called Iranians “animals” on Easter Sunday.
Great question. I think every artist with an empathetic bone in their body is asking this same question, in one form or another.
Things like 'up' and 'down' are supposed to be immutable facts. But everything seems to be open for discussion, according to the weirdos in charge.
I remember when 9/11 happened. My music career had just started. One of the first things I thought when I found out was: "Oh no! Is anyone going to care about my band?"
That’s an embarrassing thing to admit. But my whole (American) identity was based on the idea of success. I felt that it was essential to be recognized as having achieved something. I had suffered through an awkward childhood, and 2001 was right in the middle of “my” time — the time when success was going to vanquish all my pain. The idea of not somehow “getting” this thing that I “needed” (recognition, fame) was ... unacceptable. Even in the face of tragedy, I was obsessed with my own personal redemption arc.
I realize that someone can record an album (or make any kind of art) without being “obsessed with a redemption arc,” but I think lots of artists are trying to avenge their shitty childhoods. And don’t get me wrong — resentment can be a great engine for art creation! But remember not to confuse pursuing your own personal dreams with activism, even if following your own personal dreams leads to art/music that brings people joy. In moments like this, we should definitely make music and art. But we need to do more than that.
Consider the baby boomers. The baby boomers thought benefit concerts could change the world. Remember The Legendary 1979 No Nukes Concerts? Well, while they may have been “legendary,” they didn’t work. HOT TIP: No real activism involves getting high and/or drunk.
Real activism is hard work. It’s not an occasional No Kings meetup. And don’t get me wrong — I love benefit concerts, and occasional No Kings meetups! They just have to be done in conjunction with other, more pointed actions.
Dictators don’t respond to suggestions. And dictators only listen to the song "Y.M.C.A."
