'You Hurt My Feelings' Fills the Down-to-Earth Dramedy Gap

The dramedy is becoming a lost art.

Well, maybe not entirely. Sure, several currently airing (or streaming) popular and acclaimed TV shows could broadly be described as dramedies. But the types of directors who make these types of movies are finding it difficult to get funding for their films, even more so if the goal is to receive a theatrical run.

That struggle is why we haven’t seen a movie in theaters from one of the genre’s foremost auteurs, Nicole Holofcener, in quite some time. Holofcener has spent the past half-decade carving out a successful gun-for-hire writing career. In 2018, she earned a Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar nomination for the Marielle Heller-directed Can You Ever Forgive Me? In 2021, she was tapped by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon to write the Jodie Comer-perspective chapter of their script for Ridley Scott’s Rashomon-esque The Last Duel. Holofcener hasn’t directed a film since 2018’s The Land of Steady Habits, a Netflix release, and she hasn’t made a theatrically released movie since 2013’s excellent Enough Said, her previous collaboration with Julia Louis-Dreyfus. 

You Hurt My Feelings is not only a reunion with Louis-Dreyfus (who’s potentially replacing Catherine Keener as Holofcener’s muse), but also a fun companion piece to Enough Said. Both are explorations of messy adult relationships. It also occupies a similar space as Kelly Reichardt’s Showing Up — another 2023 film about the struggle of creating. 

Playing a novelist and writing teacher named Beth, Louis-Dreyfus proves why she’s the perfect vessel for Holofcener’s sometimes acidic, always authentic dialogue. Few actors alive can convey the sense of naked vulnerability that she does while still nailing the comedic timing. 

The supporting cast fits snugly into similarly complex roles. Tobias Menzies, playing Beth’s therapist husband Don, brings his usual uniquely empathetic presence. Michaela Watkins (also in Enough Said) and Arian Moayed (Succession fan favorite Stewy Hosseini) bring a chaotic energy as Beth’s sister Sarah and brother-in-law Mark, an interior decorator and actor, respectively. All four struggle with difficult questions: Do they enjoy their careers? Are they even good at what they do?

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Beth and Sarah’s mother Georgia is played by Jeannie Berlin, the daughter of Elaine May — one of the forebears of the world of messy dramedies. Berlin was one of the stars of May’s formative 1972 dark romantic comedy The Heartbreak Kid. Despite that film’s success, May got only two more turns in the director’s chair. It’s hard out there for a filmmaker who wants to make movies like this, especially when female directors are already given so few shots — something that is thankfully beginning to change. 

Even if You Hurt My Feelings doesn’t scream “must see in theaters” — given its lack of movie stars, booming soundtracks or dazzling effects — think about heading out to your local cineplex to check it out if you’re interested in seeing more of these kinds of films. Trust me, the scenes of real-life married couple David Cross and Amber Tamblyn going through couple’s counseling are worth the price of admission.