Advice King: Who Was Dolly Singing To?

In 2014, comedian, musician, podcaster and Nashvillian Chris Crofton asked the Scene for an advice column, so we gave him one. Crowning himself the "Advice King," Crofton shares his hard-won wisdom with whoever seeks it. Follow Crofton on Bluesky and Instagram (@thecroftonshow), and check out his The Advice King Anthology and Cold Brew Got Me Like podcast. To submit a question for the Advice King, email bestofbread@gmail.com.

Dear Advice King, 

When Dolly sang “I Will Always Love You,” was she talking to me?

—Victor in Los Angeles

Hi Victor! This isn’t really an advice question, but I love it, so I’m going to turn it into one. 

The short answer is ... YES! She was talking to me too! She was also talking to her ex-boss, Porter Wagoner. From what I’ve read, she didn’t even really like him all that much — but she loved him. Does that make sense? Of course it does. 

We all love each other, secretly. 

We need each other! We need to glance sideways at each other, look each other in the eye, kiss each other and talk shit about each other. We need to show stuff to each other, and read aloud to each other. We need to break up with, make up with, curse at, complain to and make coffee for each other. 

We pick someone up when we see they’ve fallen down. And it doesn’t matter if that person is Black, white or brown. And it doesn’t matter if that person is undocumented, or that person is swimming in documents. They need help, so we pick them up. Because sometimes we need help too.  

At least, the best of us will.

Some people think they’ll never need help. And that they’ve accomplished everything all by themselves. That they don’t need anybody. And that kindness is a form of weakness. Or that kindness is meant only for people of certain skin colors — or for people whose documents are, um, “in order.”

Advice King: How Do We Heal the Political Divide?

Just like every other American, I’m completely disoriented

Dolly Parton was one of the best of us. She helped the needy — regardless of their color, creed or citizenship status. She was unafraid. She was a Christian Tennessean who publicly supported transgender people — the way Jesus would. 

“1 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?” —Matthew 7:1-3

“Your flag decal won’t get you into heaven anymore.” —John Prine  

Some Christians in America seem to think that they know better than Jesus. They’ve decided that it’s OK to judge people. They treat it like sport, in fact. They’ve lost their way. People like Dolly Parton make them uncomfortable. I want us all to be like Dolly. For all the people who want kindness to be conditional, I want to make them uncomfortable — by being kind to them! 

It’s a tall order, I realize — but do you have something more important to do? You do? What is it? YOU NEED MORE ANTLERS FOR YOUR BILLIARD ROOM?!

“I Will Always Love You” is the voice of god. And I’m not talking about that man with a beard who lives in the sky. I’m talking about the god of your conscience. The god of the human heart.

Dolly Parton managed to write one of the world’s most beautiful love songs about a toxic boss! Who had this haircut! 

What would Jesus do? What Dolly did.