In 2014, comedian, musician, podcaster and Nashvillian Chris Crofton asked the Scene for an advice column, so we gave him one. Crowning himself the “Advice King,” Crofton shares his hard-won wisdom with whoever seeks it. Follow Crofton on Twitter and Instagram (@thecroftonshow), and check out his The Advice King Anthology and Cold Brew Got Me Like podcast. To submit a question for the Advice King, email bestofbread@gmail.com.
Dear Advice King,
Any thoughts on how to survive this time of year? December and January are so hard. How can I fight seasonal depression?
—Maureen in Pittsburgh
Hi Maureen! Thank you for writing.
I get this question — in one form or another — every year. I never really know what to say. I never really know what to say because I have the same question. Every year.
The way I feel in the winter is harrowing. I don’t know if that’s how I’ve described it before in the other columns I’ve written about it, but that’s the word that comes to mind now.
Here’s some advice that I wish I would take:
Don't watch the news. The news will make you feel worse. And the news won’t tell you anything worthwhile. It’ll just tell you about Rudy Giuliani.
Here’s some news from me:
“Economic insecurity has everyone pointing fingers at each other. It turns out that a healthy middle class is essential for societal stability. If the media covered this crisis accurately, everyone would be mad at the billionaires. But we can’t afford to offend the billionaires, because they have all the money — our money! And we need some of it back so we can, uhhh, live. So we’ll blame immigrants, LGBTQ folks and poor people. From a financial standpoint, it makes more sense.”
We are still in the midst of a pandemic. Pandemics are not normal.
Goddamn, it would make me feel much better if the TV and newspapers would just say that kind of stuff (the truth) straight out. We all wouldn't feel so crazy. I’m pretty sure being crazy doesn’t help with seasonal depression.
Here’s some advice that I do take:
Don't go off your meds. That’s 100 percent serious. If you want to switch up your meds, always consult a doctor first.
Don't get drunk all the time. Alcohol is a depressant. It makes things that are already harrowing more harrowing.
In a related suggestion, go to a meeting. (If this applies to you.)
Be kind to yourself. If, for you, this means getting drunk all the time, it’s OK. Just be careful. I only mentioned the drinking because I did it for 20 years, and I know that, for me, it didn't help. (Understatement.)
Eat enough food. I have a tendency to drink coffee all day, not eat, and then be like, “MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?”
Exercise. It’s very important. Even a little bit is better than none.
Meet with friends for coffee. Drag yourself out. Talk about seasonal depression. Know you are loved.
If it gets really bad, seek help. Please. Call a friend, a hotline or an ambulance. All us sensitive people have got to stay alive! We are needed here on earth — in case you haven’t seen the news lately.
And I hope you haven’t.
Love, Chris.
