Comedian, musician, host of Chris Crofton's Advice King Podcast and former Nashvillian Chris Crofton asked the Scene for an advice column, so we gave him one. Crowning himself the “Advice King,” Crofton will share his hard-won wisdom with whosoever seeks it. Follow Crofton on Facebook and Twitter, and to submit a question for the Advice King, email bestofbread[at]gmail[dot]com or editor[at]nashvillescene[dot]com.
Dear Advice King,
January is always a hard month for me, emotionally. I get quite depressed. Any tips on how to make it easier? Thank you!
—Feeling Blue in Brooklyn
I can relate, “Blue.” I’m miserable every January. But THIS January? I’m flat on my back.
This is no ordinary January. This isn’t seasonal affective disorder. This feeling can’t be cured with light therapy. I’m not saying that light therapy wouldn’t help. I’m saying that in THIS particular January — January 2022 — it’s probably not going to be enough.
Do you guys know what light therapy is? It’s when you get a special lamp that mimics the sun. It emits UV rays, which are necessary for vitamin D production. You are supposed to sit in front of this lamp IN THE MORNING, which I have always considered pretty funny, because if I’m depressed there is NO FUCKING WAY I’ll be awake then. I have purchased about 200 of these things over the years, and I’ve never used any of them more than once. So I guess, er ... in conclusion, light therapy might actually solve everything, because how the fuck would I know.
ANYWAY.
What I am trying to say is that regardless of the depression one might normally feel from SAD (seasonal affective disorder), this year it’s compounded by the fact that we are all TRAUMATIZED. And I mean that in the clinical sense. I don’t mean “traumatized,” like when you accidentally send a sext to your grandma, I mean traumatized as in the “T” in PTSD. Actual trauma that needs to be dealt with, urgently and seriously.
We are still in the midst of a pandemic. Pandemics are not normal. Hundreds of thousands of Americans are dead. We have all been isolated, disoriented and grieving for two years now. I would argue that Americans have been disoriented and grieving since 9/11, but this pandemic has made an already anxious populace into an anxious and dangerously lonely populace.
This particular January, things are not going well. Every empathetic person in the world is justifiably devastated, and we shouldn’t feel obligated to gloss it over — not by winking on Twitter, and not by raging on Facebook. Winking and raging are both defense mechanisms. We need to be able to say it earnestly and plainly, to our fellows. And we should be able to get a response that does not contain the word “economy.”
ADVOCATING FOR CAPITALISM-AS-USUAL DURING A MASS-CASUALTY EVENT IS DEPRAVED. We are TRAUMATIZED. We need love, NOT COMMERCE, for God’s sake. And I mean FOR GOD’S SAKE.* Stop kicking each other — WE ARE ALL DOWN.
Here’s my tip, “Blue in Brooklyn": Ask for help. Go for walks. Write. Cry. GRIEVE. I have been reengaging with 12-step programs — more than one. GO EASY ON YOURSELF! And sure, use a sun lamp. Most of all, please hang in there, “Blue,” and I will too.
*The god of your understanding. “For love’s sake” works too.
