Back in October, there was a cop fight on Briley Parkway — and not a single one of the traitors in the media who call themselves my friends texted me about it so that I could howl with laughter. I was going to tell Scene editor-in-chief D. Patrick Rodgers about a guy I saw in Hermitage failing to walk a cat on a leash on Christmas Eve, but now that I know people are withholding funny things from me? It’s going to be a while before I feel like sharing funny things with them.
Anyway, here are the details as we now know them, because the Metro Nashville Police Department's investigation into the conduct of their officer has concluded. According to Nikkie McGee and Jaxie Pidgeon at WKRN:
The MNPD officer initiated the traffic stop near the Two Rivers Parkway exit while heading Eastbound on Briley Parkway. The trooper was traveling 85 miles per hour in a 55 miles per hour zone.
At one point, the SUV flashed blue lights back at the Metro police officer. Eventually, the officer pulled alongside the SUV and called out to the driver before he finally pulled over.
The driver quickly charged out of the car and identified himself as a state trooper. The two then use hands on each other, and the officer said he would lock him up if the trooper touches him again.
The state trooper was driving Tennessee House Speaker Cameron Sexton, who everyone knows lives in Nashville with his wife and kids, but who claims on the state’s website to live in Crossville.
This explains how Sexton lives in two places at once! His state trooper chauffeur can cut the trip from Nashville to Crossville down to little more than the time it takes most people in Nashville to commute from home to other places in Nashville.
Must be nice! If only we could all get our own taxpayer-funded state troopers to race through the streets of the city, taking us from place to place, and then fighting with any Metro police officers who try to stop us.
But just when you think two officers of the law throwing hands shouting “I’m the police” at each other couldn’t get any funnier, Sexton has his chief of staff Kevin Johnson tattle to the MNPD. Johnson, mind you, wasn’t even there! I don’t know if this means Sexton is too important to do his own dirty work, trying to mess with a cop’s job, or if he’s too cowardly. But what a Veruca Salt move — “I want that cop’s life ruined and I want it now!” — with Kevin Johnson scrambling behind Veruca Sexton trying to fill his demands.
But then! Just when you think, Well, clearly there’s no way Cameron Sexton could make this any funnier, the guy issues a statement about the situation. Why would he do this? Why would anyone let him do this? Is there someone in Cameron Sexton’s office who loves me and put this out so that I could end my year on a high note? Here's the statement Sexton provided to WKRN:
"An unfortunate incident occurred due to an overzealous MNPD officer in an unmarked car that jeopardized the safety of Speaker Sexton and THP. There was no violation of traffic laws by the THP officer pursuant to state law. In today’s climate of political violence, the job of executive protection is more difficult than ever. The THP trooper identified himself to the MNPD officer multiple times and provided documentation multiple times during the stop. The MNPD officer initially placed his left hand on the THP trooper as the trooper was attempting to show him his badge. Which provoked a reaction. Then later, the overly aggressive MNPD officer again placed his hands on and shoved the THP trooper as he attempted to exit the vehicle. The THP trooper showed restraint and refrained from escalating the situation further. In the end cooler heads prevailed. We commend THP for their professionalism and dedication to protect and serve.
No, in Nashville, when an overzealous law enforcement officer in an unmarked car acts, it’s to steal people’s grandmas. That’s overzealous. This? This is welcome. Please, pull everyone doing 85 on Briley Parkway over. Everyone doing 85 on Briley is endangering the lives of everyone else on Briley, and surely someone doing 85 on Briley while being pursued by a cop is even more of a danger.
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Sexton's statement also references “today’s climate of political violence.” Oh OK, Sexton has to speed because of all the political violence. This is the greatest thing I’ve ever read. The audacity, the ego, the stupidity! Cameron! You control the state legislature! If it’s really so dangerous for you out here, fix this mess!
I noted how Sexton’s release claims the trooper didn’t break any state laws. I then spent some time going through our state laws, and I don’t know that — if I were writing that press release — I’d state that so definitely. I’m not a lawyer, but I’m looking at what I think might be relevant bits in the state code: Tennessee Code Section 4-7-119 says, “Officers of the Tennessee highway patrol may utilize their agency's vehicles and emergency equipment for purposes of carrying out its duties under the assigned protection detail” (this seems to fit); and Tennessee Code Section 55-8-108, which is murkier to us non-lawyer types, says, “The exemptions granted under subsection (b) to a driver of an authorized emergency vehicle shall only apply when the vehicle is making use of audible and visual signals meeting the requirements of the applicable laws of this state.”
So in other words, a trooper carting Sexton around can speed through our streets, but there should be lights and sirens in use on the vehicle while it is speeding. I don’t see that in the available footage.
This, to me, also explains why the trooper came out of the car so hot. He potentially did get caught breaking the law, and he was probably embarrassed. Fair. That’s how most people who get pulled over for breaking the law feel. But I guarantee you that, if any of the rest of us had — in the same circumstances — come out of the car and started pushing the cop who pulled us over, we’d be lucky if we ended up in jail and not in the hospital or worse.
And the rest of us would never be afforded the privilege of having Cameron Sexton (or his staff, anyway) coming to our defense this hard.
It’s wild, really, to see that, when push comes to shove (heh), the people who make our laws can’t live by them, but still run for office on the promise that they will do what they can to lower crime. OK, start by either going the speed limit or using your lights and sirens! That act alone would eliminate most of the crime on Briley.
It would make Nashville safer — much less funny, but safer.
