Metro Nashville Mayor John Cooper will not have to pay up on a bet he tried to make with Boston Mayor Marty Walsh. Of course, the Tennessee Titans defeated the New England Patriots in a win for the ages in Saturday night's wild card round match-up, with Derrick Henry's 184-yard Eckartsau Proclamation destroying the Pats' Habsburgian hold on the NFL. Hopefully, Tom Brady pulls a Charles I and spends the rest of his days in exile in Madeira.
Walsh, for what it's worth, didn't actually take Cooper up on his bet — he's sworn off the traditional mayors' bets, believing they jinx his teams. Furthermore, Cooper's offer of a six-pack from East Nashville Beer Works didn't make a lot of sense, as Walsh is a recovering alcoholic. He literally began his most prominent national appearance — a prime-time speech during the 2016 Democratic National Convention — by saying, "My name is Marty Walsh, and I'm an alcoholic."
Neither Walsh's sobriety nor his aversion to the mayors' bets are secrets — unlike Cooper's crypto-Pats fandom, revealed by the sleuths at WPLN (it seems like former Mayor David Briley should have made this massive character flaw a factor in the campaign) — and a simple Google search would have uncovered the information.
But at least that bet was a real bet, in that the loser would be the one paying up, which means Cooper made some strides.
Ahead of the NHL's Winter Classic at Dallas' Cotton Bowl, Dallas Mayor Eric Johnson asked Cooper if he wanted to make a "friendly wager." Cooper, game for gambling, agreed. Having apparently never made a bet before or seen anyone make a bet or heard of betting, Cooper said, "If the Preds win, join me at the world-famous Grand Ole Opry this spring!"
That is not how betting works.
Essentially, Hizzoner said, "If I win, I will give you a vacation."
Clearly, Cooper's next hire needs to be a grizzled man with a nickname that's a state so someone can teach him how to make a good bet that involves: A) offering something the opponent wants, and B) not giving the other person a free trip if they lose.
He needs to make the hire quickly with the Titans set to face the Ravens in Baltimore Saturday night. And given the way Charm City goes through mayors, he might oughta be prepared to make the offer three or four times before Saturday.
