Living, still breathing human being, Bill Bates. Hopefully, sometime in the past month, one of Bill Bates' five kids did not Google his dad's name alongside the word "died." Because if they had, they would've found this and then this; fake obituaries with a decidedly un-Onion like seriousness. Bates, a former UT grad, Pro-Bowler with the Dallas Cowboys and all around feel-good story, is actually very much alive. And if you're a worried bride in the Celinas, Texas, area searching last minute for a suitable place to get hitched, he's got you covered. So why is his alma mater saying he died in a plane crash over Kansas? And then Rome? Blair Bolick, author of the second obit, explains:
I apologize. This was no prank. I am a student at the University of Tennessee, and for our journalism class, we were set up to do a MOCK story on tnjn.com. My professor tells me that we are the guinea pigs in this experiment. It was never supposed to be released in any way that it could be searched or Googled. I'm fully aware he is alive, but this was strictly a class assignment. I assume it was for Charles as well. My sincerest apologizes, Blair
Thanks, Blair. Now, as an added bonus, please enjoy the following video, which helpfully documents the origin of Bates' nickname: That Guy Who Got Run Over By Herschel Walker.
