Alright, nimble-fingered, aspiring local rock gods, here’s your chance to own a “true classic rock n roll guitar” [sic]; a “bad ass axe” [sic] modeled after that of late Ozzy Osbourne, neo-classical metal shredder Randy Rhoads. I’m talking of course about the Jackson RR3.
One is currently for sale via Nashville Cragslist.
Don’t you know what this means?
“If you know what a Jackson RR3 model is you don't need to be told how bad ass [sic] it is and if you don't, Well sorry but your [sic] an idiot and have no reason to be here among the living,” the over-zealously earnest idiot hawking this six-stringed heavy metal artifact exclaims, while at the same time (perhaps unintentionally) dropping a pretty sweet Anthrax reference.
To be clear, while the anonymous master of hyperbole (but not grammar) guarantees the guitar in question will make its new owner look like a rock star, it won’t necessarily make he or she play like one. (“That’s up to [he/she] and the man at the crossroads.”) But naturally any player’s chops will be bolstered by the guitar’s humbucker pickups, flamed maple top, Floyd Rose “licensed” tremolo and other git-y gearhead accessories —“shredder-friendly features” the poster alleges “makes for one bad ass axe that will make the dudes scream and all the bitches cream. If you want to be the man you gotta get if your ass, spend some cash and buy this classic rock and roll guitar.” [sic] [sic] [sic] [sic] [sic] [sic] [sic]
Talk about burying the lede! Now read the enthused poster’s full, unedited prose after the jump.
Designed after the immortal guitar God Randy Rhoads. A true classic rock n roll guitar. If you know what a Jackson RR3 model is you don't need to be told how bad ass it is and if you don't , Well sorry but your an idiot and have no reason to be here among the living It plays as good as it looks and with it you'll look like a rock star ( look like not play like, that's up to you and the man at the crossroads).The alder body (with flamed maple top on the transparent blue finish) joins up with the maple neck and compound-radius rosewood fretboard. Shredder-friendly features include jumbo frets; a Floyd Rose-licensed, Jackson low-profile, double-locking tremolo; Seymour Duncan JB TB4 (bridge) and Jazz SH2N (neck) humbuckers; and volume/volume/tone with 3-way switching. Black hardware completes the visuals.
Jackson's compound-radius fingerboard curves more dramatically at the nut for easy chording and flattens out as it approaches the neck joint for low-action bends without fretting out.
All this makes for one bad ass axe that will make the dudes scream and all the bitches cream. If you want to be the man you gotta get if your ass, spend some cash and buy this classic rock and roll guitar.
I have a theory: Was this post penned by tirelessly boisterous former Ozzy axe-slinger uber-bro Zakk Wylde, who definitely does not shred like Randy Rhoads, his Prince of Darkness co-pilot predecessor. It kinda reads like it was, amirite?
I mean, seriously …
Like, SERIOUSLY!
