The Last Dragon (also known as Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon) is a martial arts, action-comedy/musical — from the ‘80s! — that truly has to be seen to be believed. This movie, produced by the one and only Motown Records founder, somehow found its way into theaters during the mid-‘80s, where it was mostly slammed by critics, only to later find cult-classic status thanks to people stumbling across it on cable on video.
With the Belcourt giving it the midnight-movie treatment tonight and Saturday night, I thought I’d hit you with five reasons why you should get stoned (if you’re into that sort of thing, of course) and check this out.
1. One word: SHO’NUFF!
Without question, the most entertaining part of this crazy movie is this even-crazier idea of a bad guy, played by the late, great Julius Carry. Rocking long hair & outrageous, flamboyant outfits and showing up with his own crew of equally loud mofos, this “Shogun of Harlem” (or a “string-bean, Rick James-looking fool,” as he’s accurately called at one point) spends most of the movie picking fights with Taimak’s karate-obsessed hero, Leroy Green (aka “Bruce Leroy”). The dude is so ludicrous a creation, spouting off so many of the movie’s most quotable lines (my favorite: “Kiss my Converse!”), he becomes the funniest thing in the movie.
2. The movie’s really one long music video for a DeBarge song.
Remember DeBarge, the quintet of soul-singing siblings who have mostly ended up either in jail or in rehab? Well, the highlight of the Last Dragon soundtrack is their ‘80s hit “Rhythm of the Night.” Just how much does this movie push that song? There’s one sequence where the actual video is practically played in its entirety. Hell, as a kid, I remember that song dropping months before the movie did. It looked like Gordy really wanted people to like that song.
3. See a movie directed by underrated black filmmaker Michael Schultz.
If there was ever an unsung figure in the annals of African-American filmmaking, it’s this guy. He got his start in the ‘70s, directing pivotal black films like the coming-of-age flick Cooley High and the all-star ensemble comedy Car Wash. He also helmed that notorious musical flop Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, which answered the unasked question, “What would Beatles songs sound like if they were performed by Peter Frampton, George Burns and the Bee Gees?”
While his rep faltered in the ‘80s, Dragon was one of two watchable films he directed in 1985. The other was the hip-hop musical Krush Groove. (Belcourt, please, please, PLEASE program that film for a midnight screening!)
4. This movie is proof that Berry Gordy did a lot of blow in the ‘80s.
I have a theory that Gordy, probably still smarting over losing his beloved muse/meal ticket Diana Ross (who starred in nearly all the film projects Gordy was involved with during the ‘70s), self-medicated himself to the point where he got hold of this script and most likely got it made to show everyone that he didn't need her ass for his movies. (“Fuck you, Diana! I’ll even have Vanity play the eye candy in this movie! She’s younger and more light-skinded than you! Damn, why is my nose running?”)
5. Basically, this movie is FUCKIN’ NUTS!!!!
Like I said, this is a martial-arts action-comedy/musical. So you already have an idea that this movie is all over the place. When I revisited the film, I was reminded how gotdamn insane this busy movie is. Let’s break it down: it’s about a Bruce Lee-loving black kid who goes on a journey to find a new master. Along the way, he dodges the taunts of a ridiculous rival, and also has to occasionally keep a VJ (Vanity) who has the hots for him from being kidnapped by a megalomaniacal video-arcade tycoon (Chris Murney), pissed off that she won’t play a video featuring his talentless, wannabe-singer girlfriend (Tony-winning actress/singer Faith Prince). THIS ALL FUCKIN’ HAPPENED IN ONE MOVIE!
Like I said, it has to be seen to be believed.
