In the modern age, it sometimes feels like we are floating through life — the stinging cold of our adult routines and shaking off the ambitions of youth. We get into the habit of working all day just to go home, then do it all again the next day. Throughout the routine of life, we can fall into boredom and loneliness. To escape these feelings, some people daydream about tropical vacations and luxuries they can’t afford. Some of us just think about dying.
In the sleepy, dreary town of Astoria, Ore., lives Fran (Daisy Ridley), a social recluse who drifts through her work days and comes home to her cottage cheese. Throughout her day-in, day-out cycle, she begins to disconnect from the life she’s living, and she daydreams about her death. That’s not to say she’s suicidal — it’s more of an indifference toward living or dying. Then along comes a new hire at the office, Robert (Dave Merheje), who tries to break Fran out of her shell.
Character studies live and die by their lead performer. Most audiences know Daisy Ridley as Rey in Disney’s Star Wars sequel trilogy. But there are no signs of the confident Jedi in Fran, who is quiet, timid and full of self-doubt. In an interview last year with the Associated Press, Ridley spoke about using the isolation of the pandemic and her own personal social anxieties as a basis for her performance in Dying. She’s able to capture not only Fran’s loneliness but also her desire to push past the barriers she finds within herself. It’s a bold new direction for the blockbuster star, and her performance makes me excited to see what’s next for her in the world of independent cinema.
Directed by Rachel Lambert, Dying is adapted in part from the 2013 play Killers, which was itself later adapted into a 13-minute short of the same name. Lambert replaced the short film’s inner monologue sequences with visualized daydreams of Fran’s death that are eerily beautiful and tranquil — despite the fact that they feature Fran’s corpse. Ridley’s character is never violently murdered or depicted with any visible injuries, as if to show that in Fran’s mind, death is a peaceful exit rather than a gruesome end. That said, expanding the short to a 91-minute feature led to a few hiccups along the way. Painting the world as drab and lonely, as it’s seen by our protagonist, does dip into boring-by-design territory. The movie rides a fine line — it does Fran justice, but its slow pace and awkward dialogue might be too much for some audiences. By the same token, more introverted audience members or those close to introverts will feel seen.
Ultimately, Sometimes I Think About Dying is a somber, dreamy story of loneliness and breaking through the bubble of introversion. It takes its time in allowing scenes to develop, though it features a breakout performance from Ridley and solid direction from Lambert. Dying will reward patient viewers as a character study of an introvert who dreams of death and making a human connection.
