Comedian, musician, podcaster and Nashvillian Chris Crofton asked the Scene for an advice column, so we gave him one. Crowning himself the “Advice King,” Crofton will share his hard-won wisdom with whosoever seeks it. Follow Crofton on Facebook and Twitter, and to submit a question for the Advice King, email bestofbread[at]gmail[dot]com or editor[at]nashvillescene[dot]com.
Dear Advice King,
Lately it seems like behind the scenes, news outlets have different views than what they present to the public. How do I know who to trust? Is there anyone? Where do you get your news?
Thanks!
—Jill in Anaheim, Calif.
Have you ever seen the Sidney Lumet movie Network? It came out in 1976. People mostly know it as the movie where the guy (actor Peter Finch) yells, “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!” It tells you everything you need to know about “the news.” It tells you everything you need to know about everything else too, in my opinion. One Christmas in the 1990s, I gave everyone I knew a copy of Network. It’s a masterpiece. You can learn from it. They don’t make movies like that anymore.
Some readers might say “They don’t make movies like that anymore” sounds like typical out-of-touch-old-man horseshit — and it sure does — but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t true. And guess what. The reason that they don’t make movies like that anymore is the same reason you can’t trust the news. Which is also what the movie Network is about. Which is why they don’t make movies like it anymore. You following? I barely am. I’m going to take a break and write you all a poem about how you can’t trust the news:
YOU CAN'T TRUST THE NEWS
Do you like your news to have a leather interior?
Do you like your news to match your slacks?
Do you like your news to be
delivered by people that look like you?
Do you like your news to tell you
how the world has to stop using fossil fuels
or all our children will fry like eggs?
You would prefer that we didn’t mention that?
The shareholders agree.
Network is about a failing TV network that is bought by a big corporate conglomerate. The new management notices that the news division has the lowest ratings. The news people say, basically, “It’s news. It’s the facts. Facts can’t be made ‘more popular.’ They’re just ... facts.” The big conglomerate decides to hand control of the news division (William Holden) to the entertainment division (Faye Dunaway). All hell breaks loose.
A few years later, the same thing happened in real life. It turns out big conglomerates don’t care about facts — they care about dividends.
Now it’s 2023. Thanks to 50 years of corporate mergers, big conglomerates own everything. “Everything” includes the movie studios, which won’t fund smart movies like Network. Smart movies, with their smart little profits, may have been enough for the smart little studios of yesteryear, but by the obscene standards of today’s billionaire class, they are considered a fiscal waste of time. There’s also too much goddamn truth in them. Money monsters can only eat big, dumb blockbusters.
It turns out big conglomerates don’t care about don’t care facts OR art — they care about dividends.
TAX BILLIONAIRES OUT OF EXISTENCE. ENFORCE ANTITRUST LAWS.
I get my news from The Majority Report With Sam Seder. I highly recommend it. I also like independent news outlets Democracy Now! and Background Briefing With Ian Masters. And the NASHVILLE SCENE!!! Thanks for the question, Jill! Go watch Network.
