The Scene’s Jason Shawhan and Erica Ciccarone — two unapologetic lovers of maximalist '80s musical theater — watched Tom Hooper’s Cats with morbid curiosity. Below, the conversation that resulted afterward. Cats opens everywhere Friday.
Jason Shawhan: I wasn’t really prepared for how horny this film is. It’s been a good 30-plus years since I’ve seen the show, and it’s always fascinating to see how the maximalist ’80s school of cocaine musicals evolve and adapt over the years. And it makes sense that Cats, the musical, would be a focal point for otherkin and the furry community. Which is all to say, it is apparent on viewing this new film adaptation of Cats that there was no one on set or in the CG render farms responsible for saying “perhaps if we made these cats less fuckable.”
Erica Ciccarone: Dare I say it could be more horny? I also first experienced Cats as a child. My elementary school group took a bus to the Winter Garden Theatre. I got to revisit the musical last month when the touring production came to TPAC. As I said in my review of that show, Rum Tum Tugger was partially responsible for my sexual awakening. Cats has always been sexy to me! If anything, I found the film to be a turn-off in so many ways. Jason Derulo just doesn’t do it for me as Tug, and time will tell whether Macavity’s disrobing has permanently ruined Idri Elba for me. (Why is this cat so ripped? And while I’m going there, why do these lady cats have breasts? And if they are going to have breasts, why only two?)
JS: There’s a great little moment between Gus and Mistofelees that shows gay cat game recognize gay cat game, and the duo of Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer promote an omnivorous bisexual vibe like they were Eva Green and Louis Garrel in Bertolucci’s The Dreamers.
EC: Total omni-bi vibes from Mungo and Rumple. I’m delighted that you also recognize Mistofelees’ queerness, but I missed that moment between him and Gus. I have always seen Mistofelees as proudly out, and the film seems to tease that a relationship with Victoria is on the horizon. Who can say what’s in his heart? I want him to feel empowered to live his best life.
JS: I didn’t know that we needed Taylor Swift presiding over a Studio 54 coke — I’m sorry, catnip — orgy, but it’s such a wild choice that I’m glad it exists.
EC: I have never cared about Taylor Swift or paid any attention to her until now. She was phenomenal. The song she composed with Webber also really fit, and I liked how Victoria — a cat who never had any solos but was always the very best dancer — had a moment to shine.
JS: I was taken aback by how anemic the orchestra sounded. The Cameron Mackintosh school of musical theater learned a lot from the Rock N Roll McDonald’s innovations of Jim Steinman and Meat Loaf, so it’s weird that, like The Phantom of the Opera, the musical accompaniment is practically understated. But I fear that may be, in this instance, because of director Tom Hooper, who previously strangled the life out of Boublil and Schonberg’s Les Misérables with his insistence on using live singing (and who also has a Best Director Oscar thanks to Harvey Weinstein). There are moments that indicate a similar approach was used herein due to some performers losing their breath or slipping out of tune.
If one is making a CG augmented fantasy about cat resurrection, it is not just acceptable to pre-record vocals, it is advisable.
EC: You may be onto something here. “Memory” is one of my favorite songs in the world. Jennifer Hudson was good — but not great. Not pained. I want a busted Grizzy who can’t stand up straight, who makes to dance but is wracked by pain. I want a Grizabella whose one sign of life is her desperate song. Hudson didn’t convey that physical and metaphysical agony. True, I still cried at “Touch me! It’s so easy to leave me!” But I did not weep.
JS: There’s a brazen ridiculousness to the first reel that gradually recedes as you get used to what’s going on. At first, it’s a head-on collision between Discount Bob Fosse and Free Adoption Day at the Animal Shelter. And eventually, you just get used to it.
EC: As soon as I felt I had a handle on things, a sudden close-up would jar me. Hopper did make some changes to the CG after the first trailer dropped. People were frightened. In my opinion, if you’re going the uncanny valley route, go all the way.
JS: When you try and explain the plot to people, things get very weird.
EC: There will always be people who complain about the plot. You don’t go to Cats for the plot. You go for the cats! As I walked to the parking lot, I chatted with a fellow critic. He was enraged by the movie’s badness.
I find this time of the year to be exhausting when it comes to film. There’s an expectation for critics to see everything and have very serious opinions, which sometimes lead to very serious arguments. It’s Twitter’s fault. It makes me forget why I love movies. I went to Cats to see how bad it was and to revel in the badness. And I love some of the songs. If you want to see a good film, go watch Little Women. It’s a masterpiece. If you want to delight in nonsense and lunacy, I have just the motion picture for you.
JS: There is all this meticulous and punny signage in the background, and it reflects a cleverness not found in the script, which is stripped back to basic allegory at all times.
EC: The musical is set entirely in a junkyard, so it was fun to see the cats move through the world. Plus, the scaling was off, which had very funny effects.
JS: Ian McKellen (as Gus) and tap dancing dynamo Steven McRae (as Skimbleshanks, also known as The Railway Cat, also known as the one with the song in 13/8 time) steal the show — the former with a gravity that reaches out through the CG, the latter as a badass dancer who practically burns the stage down in an outfit that will be making a definite comeback on fetish nights the world over.
EC: When I saw McKellen lapping up milk from that bird bath-sized bowl, I thought, “Sir! You are a knight!” So that is a hard no for me! But as a tap dancer myself, I greatly enjoyed Skimbleshanks’ routine and thought the staging — on the railway tracks of a bridge just before sunrise — was aces.
