In the opening minutes of Long Shot, Seth Rogen escapes a neo-Nazi party (but not before getting half a swastika tattooed on his arm) by jumping out of a two-story window, slamming onto a parked car down below and hitting the pavement.
Technically, the movie should end right there. I mean, dude should’ve died on impact, or at least been left with a severe concussion, broken bones, damaged organs, etc. But alas, this is a comedy, and Rogen’s impervious-to-pain protagonist gets up and walks it off. This is just one of the many instances of abuse — both physical and emotional — Rogen’s character experiences in Long Shot.
His character, Fred Flarsky (Jesus, that name!), is a prototypical schlub. Constantly rocking windbreakers for some reason, the recently unemployed investigative journalist is hired by U.S. Secretary of State Charlotte Field (Charlize Theron), who was once his babysitter, as a speechwriter. With Field poised to become a presidential frontrunner in 2020, the pair travels world to garner support for an environmental initiative. Of course, they also grow a bit closer, as their working relationship morphs into a full-on fling.
Movies about politicians falling in love with non-Beltway folk are not new. (Remember when Michael Douglas’ commander-in-chief adorably courted Annette Bening’s environmental lobbyist in Rob Reiner’s The American President?) But this is a movie in which the bearded, dumpy-looking Seth Rogen gets it on with the bangin’ Charlize Theron — and that’s just fucking outrageous! This movie is basically Joe Jackson’s classic opposites-attract love song “Is She Really Going Out with Him?” played out in a political setting. (I’m shocked the song isn’t in the damn movie.)
Hardly a scene goes by in which the audience isn't reminded that the idea of these two as a couple is downright absurd. Field’s chief staffer (a particularly savage June Diane Raphael) thinks Flarsky is too much of a liability/loser and lets them both know that their union is a calamity waiting to happen. Damn. Can’t these two grown-ass people get their freak on in peace? The only person who sees nothing wrong with the pair bumping and grinding is Fred’s best friend Lance (O’Shea Jackson, Jr., in a godsend of a comedic performance), who occasionally gives his boy pep talks, letting him know that his schmucky ass deserves love too.
But Long Shot isn’t just about these two and their culturally forbidden love. Director Jonathan Levine (Snatched) and writers Dan Sterling (The Interview) and Liz Hannah (The Post) use this as an opportunity to broadly satirize our political climate. The movie is also equipped with a vain, dunderheaded president (Bob Odenkirk) who mostly takes orders from more powerful figures — in this case, a Rupert Murdoch-esque media mogul (Andy Serkis, covered in old-man makeup). The hit-or-miss jabs at both the American political landscape and the media that covers it are more over-the-top than sharp and clever. Then again, considering our current president, nothing in this movie is as ridiculous or far-fetched as the bullshit he pulls on the regular.
For the most part, Shot gives Theron a long-overdue chance to show off her comedic chops. Anyone who’s seen her self-deprecating talk-show appearances knows the statuesque Oscar winner has been waiting for a shot like Shot. And she doesn’t fail when it comes to achieving moments of comic bliss, like when she negotiates a hostage situation while strung-out on molly. (“We don’t negotiate with terrorists, but we do negotiate with homies.”) As for Rogen, whose character is basically treated like a pathetic crash-test dummy throughout this flick, you’d think he would’ve outgrown starring in she’s-outta-my league rom-coms — the very genre that made him a star when he appeared opposite Katherine Heigl way back in 2007's Knocked Up. But here he is, 12 years later, starring as another lame dude who somehow gets a beautiful, successful blonde in the sack.
While Long Shot gives us a glimpse of the comic goddess Theron could be, it unfortunately sticks Rogen back in pitiful man-child territory. But, hey, if this movie inspires more insecure guys to find confidence — and both parties to see each other for who they are inside — I guess it’s done its purpose.
