Whew, these new property assessments are something else. I live in a 70-year-old ranch with one bathroom, and with the exception of the kitchen, it is mostly original. It’s on an acre, which is delightful. The new houses in my neighborhood — the new construction — are all these mammoth, castle-looking things. This is important because it means that no one’s going to live in my house after me. They’ll tear it down and put two huge mansions on the lot since we’re zoned for half-acre lots.
Vivian Wilhoite tours county as the tax assessor’s office prepares new appraisals
That’s just reality. This property, if and when I ever sell it, will be worth roughly what an empty lot is worth. Empty lots in my ZIP code on Zillow right now range from $400,000 for 1.37 acres (sitting on the market 282 days), to $275,000 for a quarter-acre (sitting on the market 158 days), to what is probably the best comp — the 5.42 acres directly behind me selling for $399,000 that has been on the market, according to Zillow, for 586 days. For those of you struggling to do division in your head, that’s $74,616.24 an acre for the property that touches my property. And if we’re letting the market decide if that’s what an acre in my part of town is worth, it seems like the market is saying “no.” Judging by how long they’ve been sitting on the market, lots in my area are overpriced.
So imagine my surprise when I learned that my 2025 total appraised value from the city is $273,200. I don’t know what it costs to tear down all the buildings on my property, but I can’t imagine a situation in which someone would buy my property for that amount of money, then figure in the cost of knocking everything down and hauling it off, and decide that made more sense than buying five-and-a-half acres for $100,000 more — five-and-a-half acres that are, let me remind you, literally right behind me.
Is there added value in buying a house that holds all the old, stale farts of my various dogs and guests?
Just as a side note, this is one of the strangest facets, at least to me, of Nashville’s housing crisis — the northwest corner of the county is pretty damn empty. And I’m talking about near Briley being pretty empty, so it’s not like people would have some ungodly commute. It’s not like living in Gallatin, where you’re looking at an hour drive to work in Nashville, with traffic. I can get to Midtown in 30 minutes during rush hour and 15 to 20 minutes the rest of the time. I’m as far out as Madison. Madison is packed. I can see three empty pastures from my backyard.
Not that any of you should move here. The drawbacks are huge. When you smell skunk, it really is a skunk. All our babies are born with super-strength, so when one of them grabs your earring or your hair, you’re stuck until it decides to let go. The raccoons have laser beams that come out of their eyes randomly. Some guy over on Dry Fork Road shoots a 50-cal into the hill from time to time, and it shakes everyone’s windows. And the wraith, the Whites Creek wraith … well, the less said about that, the better. If you hear whistling in the night, get back in your house, and for the love of God, do not whistle back.
I’m just saying it’s weird to be in the middle of a housing crisis that is affecting the city so unevenly. And it’s very weird to be in a part of town where stuff is sitting on the market, unmoving, and being told your property is worth $100,000 more than it was in 2021. What has supposedly happened in the past four years to increase the value that much? And why hasn’t anyone told all the buyers who are staying away?
State of Metro speech emphasized day-to-day government services and previewed new property tax rate
It’s also weird because I don’t mind paying taxes. I think it’s part of my civic duty, just like voting. But I want to be taxed on the actual value of my property, based on what’s going on here on the ground, not on some fairy tale.
I have taken the first steps to appeal, and I’m here to say that it’s pretty easy and straightforward. The property assessor’s website has clear instructions on how to do it, and I was able to complete my appeal in 10 minutes or so.
There’s a place to input comparable properties, so you may want to find said properties before you get started. I did that by filtering on Zillow for recent sales and then going to the old parcel viewer to double-check that Zillow was accurate.
So we’ll see how this goes. If you also want to appeal, you need to do it before May 9. So get on it.
