CDC: Put on a Dang Helmet When You Ride a Scooter, Sheesh

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently completed a comprehensive study of injuries caused by electric scooters. In what was certainly an intentional slight to Nashville, the CDC used Austin, Texas, as its Petri dish and discovered that, yes, people get hurt on the biwheeled sidewalk chokers and that a lot of those injuries could be prevented if their riders would, ya know, take responsibility for their own actions and maybe mix in some protective gear.

The study identified 192 injuries — 190 riders, one pedestrian and one cyclist — directly tied to the scooters, the Asian carp of the roadway, accounting for one injury for every 5,000 trips, although the researchers only interviewed people who went to an ER, so they concede this is probably an underestimation.

A third of the injuries occurred on a rider's first jaunt aboard the battery-powered children's toys that are supposed to save us all from the scourge of walking. Nearly half of the injured had a head injury of some description — including 15 percent with a "traumatic brain injury" — and more than a third broke a bone, with nearly 20 percent breaking more than one.

"Oh, but it's the cars! The cars are hurting our precious scootering progeny," someone is saying probably. But only 10 percent were involved in collisions with motor vehicles, the same amount as those who hit a curb. Other inanimate objects accounted for seven percent of the injuries, leaving 73 percent who, I dunno, just fell down or something? The study isn't clear.

It should shock no one who has to play real-life Bachelorette Frogger, dodging whizzing flocks of sorta sentient Golden Snitches coming from one direction while avoiding a pedal tavern or booze tractor or party postal truck or whatever coming from the other, that 29 percent of the injured said they'd been drinking.

And only one person in the report was wearing a helmet. 

The takeaway from the CDC and also anyone with a lick of sense is that "helmet use might also reduce the risk of head and brain injuries in the event of an e-scooter crash."

In short, put down the bushwhacker and put on a helmet, even if there's a risk of smooshing your coiffure. You'll have plenty of time to fix it while waiting three hours in line to get your selfie in front of the wings, we promise.

The PDF of the study is here.