These pretzels are making me thirsty!
The original Underworld, released six years ago, introduced a high-concept/low-excitement war between vampires in fetish gear and videogame-caliber werewolves—and "in the spirit of equanimity," someone wrote at the time, "the movie both sucks and bites." No such draw here: this deadly prequel explaining the roots of the bloodsucker-fangface grudge match is a 92-minute detainment in Sucksylvania.
