What dog owner at some point hasn’t wished there was some way to make a barking dog hush?
Veterinary surgeons at Nashville’s White Bridge Road Animal Hospital say they have found a way to make that wish come true. They have begun performing a controversial surgery—installing a device in a dog’s larynx that can be activated with a remote. In effect, it’s a dog mute button.
“My patients have been asking for this for years as a joke, and now it’s reality,” says Dr. Horace Childs, one of the first surgeons in the area to offer the new procedure. “It’s really amazing to think we now can do this.”
To perform the procedure, the veterinarian anesthetizes the dog and implants a small electrical device, similar to a heart pacemaker, in its larynx. When activated by a signal from the remote, a tiny electrical pulse from the pacemaker temporarily paralyzes the dog’s larynx, preventing the animal from barking.
“The dog just opens its mouth and nothing comes out but kind of a breathy sound,” Childs says.
The effect wears off after about three minutes, so proponents says the procedure is most useful for people who want a dog to be quiet for a short period while they’re talking on the phone or answering the door.
“This really isn’t for dogs who bark all night and keep up the neighbors, but for short-term bark elimination, this works great,” Childs says.
Not all local veterinarians are convinced the surgery is a good thing, despite its potential to drum up new business.
“Any time you perform surgery, there are risks,” says one local vet. “It would be a lot easier to either put up with a little noise or train the dog not to bark.”
The surgery, including anesthesia, pacemaker, remote and the vet bills, costs about $1,000.
“I couldn’t be happier,” says Jennifer Spacey, whose black standard poodle Dashiell had the surgery two months ago. “He always used to yap at the front door, and now I just push the mute button on his remote and he’s quiet. It was well worth the money.”
(The Fabricator is satire. Don't believe everything you read.)
