It's a common way to gauge familiarity: when people know each other so well they finish each other's sentences. Since we know our readers know Nashville, we asked you to finish ours.
That sentence, of course, is, "You are so Nashville if ... "
And you did finish it — roughly 1,450 times, one of the better responses in the 24-year history of YASNI. As it turns out, you know each other (and us) pretty well. But while familiarity can breed contempt — or at least weirdness, but more on that later — it also elicits the kind of locals-only one-liners we look forward to including in this issue every year, and which some of you clearly stockpile for the occasion. (If you're new around these parts, don't worry: These will start making sense soon.)
It made sense to us that 2013's batch came with a hefty contingent of entries that, directly or indirectly, took aim at the TV show everyone loves to hate/love/begrudgingly acknowledge the existence of — including the winner, in case you've somehow managed to avoid laying eyes on our city's ongoing soapy prime-time cameo. Our symphony's recent struggles also got their share of attention, as did fawning Yankees, a certain car salesman fallen from grace (or wherever), hockey, our wacky state legislature and the undulating vegetation atop our new convention center.
So for your amusement, we present another year's haul, as submitted by Scene readers and selected by the Committee of Inbreds. We like to think of them as our better halves — but you knew we were going to say that.
First Place
You think the TV show should have been called Mount Juliette. —Bill Hench
About the Winner
The winning entries in "You Are So Nashville If ... " frequently make waves; good thing this year's YASNI champion has a background in water-resource management. Bill Hench works for the Tennessee Department of Environment and Conservation's Division of Water Supply, and from his perch in the Life & Casualty Tower he's able to watch the activity downtown — including, on occasion, the filming of ABC's Nashville, the inspiration for his prize-winning entry.
"I like the TV show — it's fun," says Hench, a Lexington, Ky., native who moved to Nashville in the late 1970s to attend Vanderbilt and has lived here for 35 years. (You are so Nashville if you think that makes him a Johnny-come-lately.) This is his third year entering the YASNI contest, and he's previously scored honorable mentions. This year, he joins the heads on YASNI's own Mount Rushmore — all 24 of them.
Second Place
You thought the Music City Center was John Rich's new house. —Ben Morton
Third Place
You ask your 10-year-old son who his musical hero is, and he says, "Ken Levitan." —Wade Breaux
Honorable Mentions
You mistook the Nashville Maroons vintage base ball team for Mumford & Sons. —Laurel Green
You face your cleaning supplies towards Mecca five times a day. —Mike Dorr
You won the office pool on how long it would take for Martha to bail out the symphony. —Jeff Shearer
Your Little League team could beat your AAA team. —Ken Lass
You attended a catfight and a horse race broke out. —Meredith Hunter
All your clandestine meetings take place by the river. —Andy Gasparini
You worry that the food trucks at Elmington Park might be pillaged some Sunday afternoon. —Brady Mills
You understand the separation of church and state, but not wine and beer. —Wando Weaver
The drummer inside of you thinks the songwriter inside of you is a real asshole. —Matt North
You can't tell the difference between local hipsters and old pictures of Nathan Bedford Forrest. —Matt North
The Best of the Rest
Your probation officer ends every phone call with "and don't you leave 'til you see me." —Mike Dorr
You won the bass player and drummer in your divorce. —Jhesi Boyer
You remember when no one but Mayor Dean thought the Music City Center was a good idea. —Wes Hartline
You can't wait for a mayor who wins running solely on farm-to-table issues. —Wes Hartline
You think it's outrageous to pay more than 79 cents for a bowl of ramen. —Christopher Futrell
The death of the zoo's baby lynx felt like the loss of a personal pet. —Jacob Maurer
You sincerely wonder how they're gonna mow the roof. —Luke Duncan
You're dismayed at the loss of Christian values in our society, but are uncomfortable with giving a homeless person a dollar for a newspaper. —Bill Cole
The city says you are. Looking at you, Forest Hills. —Joe Shepherd
You go to the convention center to look at art, and the art museum to mail a letter. —Joe Shepherd
You see a Freakin' Weekend button and instantly have a new friend. —Jay Sawyer
You despise CMA Fest, but you'll attend Bonnaroo without any hesitation and ruin the lives of everyone in Manchester for five days. —Wes Hartline
You had a destination wedding to avoid offending your music industry contacts. —Steven C. Knapp
You are thrilled Husk is opening so that you might now be able to get into Catbird Seat. —Anna Zdon Koppert
You happily treat a couple of Aussies like natives, but Karl Dean will always be a carpetbagger, even if he starts wearing sundresses and cowboy boots. —Joe Shepherd
You believe that Alabama, California and Louisiana are nations. —Nancy Hunter
You think the Schermerhorn is "becoming a meth lab" away from hitting the country song trifecta. —Mike Dorr
You like your coffee black and your charter school white. —Adrian Bahan
It irritates you that your GPS can't pronounce Demonbreun. —Zack Bennett
Sumner County made your school board look downright reasonable by comparison. —Meredith Hunter
These stopped being funny 10 years ago. —Jackson Miller
You are personally offended by Rosepepper charging for extra chips and salsa. —Luke Myszka
You're pissed that it's taken almost less time to build the Music City Center than it's taking to renovate the Broadway McDonald's. —Ken Lass
You watch The Daily Show just to see how our legislature is embarrassing us today. —Jennifer Foshee
"Take immediate cover" is heard as "go outside and look around." —Brian Siskind
You consider The Stone Fox the western-most terminus of the great hipster silk route and will not cross White Bridge Road. —Brian Siskind
The only local policy you have ever been truly concerned about is whether you can have a studio at home or not. —Brian Siskind
There are more road cases than audience members at your gig. —KJ Garner
Your ego got out of control after appearing on Tennessee Crossroads. —Zack Bennett
You hate how much 12South has changed ... since you moved there two years ago. —Greg Harris
You broke Google Translate when you copied and pasted a Chris Johnson tweet. —Zack Bennett
You follow a "paleo" diet but believe the world is only 6,000 years old. —Lesley Lassiter
You left SNL to one day help the GOP and the NRA keep the UN and the AIC away from MTSU. —Mike Dorr
You call Donelson "east east Nashville." —Ginger Clemence
You named your recliner "The Catbird Seat" because that's as close as you'll come to the real thing. —Bill Millen
Your Obama sign is still up because religious door-knockers haven't come by since the primaries. —Matt North
You find it strange that the Hip Donelson community seems to be based around a senior center. —Andy Gasparini
You did a spit-take when you heard Phil Williams utter the words "drag queen boobs" on the 6 o'clock news. —Zack Bennett
At the end of the day, to sum it all up, the bottom line is, when you get back to basics, you're a songwriter who avoids clichés. —Matt North
You "left it all on the stage" during your last karaoke set. —Tim Hibbs
You know that tragedy + time = ASCAP Songwriter of the Year Award! —Tim Hibbs
You're concerned that Tennessee will soon overtake Florida as the stupid news capital of the U.S. —Tim Hibbs
After reading Sen. Stacey Campfield's blog, you're convinced that the theory of de-evolution should also be taught in our public schools. —Tim Hibbs
You drink PBR from a growler just to stay relevant. —Chad Johnson
You find it hard to navigate the new convention center roundabout without a giant penis for reference. —Chad Johnson
You know you must be doing something right if gast insults you. —Meredith Hunter
The Affliction shirt in your mugshot belies a truth that selling all the Kias in the world can't erase. —Meredith Hunter
Your neighbor has a shelf full of Grammys in a category you've never heard of. —Katy Branson
You think they should change the name of LP Field to Lelan Statium. —George Oeser
You can't buy a beer at a strip club on a Saturday night but you can take your gun to church with you on Sunday morning. —George Oeser
The C.S.A. is all about organic kale and not what your ancestors fought for at the Battle of Franklin. —Brady Mills
The annual Nfocus Swan Ball Issue makes you realize how glad you are that your Meemaw could never afford plastic surgery. —Brady Mills
You heard the Tennessee Firearms Association gave away an AR-15. They got the idea when St. Thomas Hospital gave somebody fungal meningitis. —Bill Hench
You feel voting for American Idol is easier than dialing TennCare's lottery hotline. —Alex Perez
You won't call it the "It City" until recycling picks up more than once a month. —Matt North
You want to punish poor kids who make bad grades despite your own deficient comprehension of biology. —Meredith Hunter
You remember how devastating it was to Nashville's economy when "Coach Foster Fights Back" moved production to L.A. —Brady Mills
You look forward to the romantic tension between Anita Bugg and Bradley George during WPLN pledge drives. —Thomas Hormby
Your farmers markets aren't speaking to each other. —Jeanne Brooks
You subscribe to The New York Times for local restaurant recommendations. —Blair Stilwell
You're It. —Bill Flowerree
You don't understand the big fuss over fracking; what happens at Bonnaroo should stay at Bonnaroo. —Bill Hench
Natalie Maines has declared war on you. —Jen Berning and Dave Foster
Your hockey reporter is smarter than you are. —Jeanne Brooks
You are baffled at how the writers of the Nashville Scene's Spin column continually trump your own cynicism. —John Marshall
You would've gladly offered Georgia some river water in May of 2010. —Zack Bennett
You look forward to Chris Johnson's portrayal of Macbeth after his retirement. —Andy Gasparini
You can't believe Chris Chamberlain left Five Guys out of his book despite all their Best Of awards. —Meredith Hunter
You want to Save Our Symphony, but you want the Rescue Mission moved out of town. —Bill Mason
It's easier to buy a gun than to buy a bottle of wine. —Mike Hughes
You thought Hip Donelson was the name of the new rapper in town. —Jamie Yost
Your book club meets at Brown's Diner. —Mary Catherine Bradshaw
You know the difference between the Old Old Suntrust Building, the Old New Suntrust Building, and the New New Suntrust Building. —Mark Chalos
Your gang activities are safe from raids unless you open a restaurant. —Mike Dorr
You've said "Bless Your Heart" to a salesperson calling from The Tennessean. —Clifton Kaiser
Ho! Hey! —Lesley Lassiter
You ask James Franklin for his honest opinion on the girl you're dating. —Bryan Voss
You got drunk at George Jones' funeral because he would've. —Roy Moore
You were disappointed to find out that the new convention center was not a massive Christie's Cabaret expansion. —Patten Fuqua
Your neighborhood has starred on both Nashville and Cops. —Patten Fuqua
Your symphony almost had to replace Beethoven's Fifth with Chapter 13. —Adam Dread
You vote alphabetically. —Bob Mater
You got all tore up about a dead Possum. —Bill Hench
You're worried about losing the symphony that you've never attended. —Ilissa Gold
You don't give a rat's ass about Sen. Jim Summerville. —Bill Mason
You still wonder if the Watson's girl is single —Chris Sevier
You know that Kidsmeal Review is not a happy meal. —Chris Sevier
R.A. Dickey struck you out as a kid. —Brent High
You can't get into your bar because it's temporarily fake for TV purposes. —Jeff Deason
Your very way of life is being threatened by a mop sink. —Charlie Harris
You've developed a hierarchy of every Kroger in town. —Charlie Harris
The rabbits in your neighborhood have three ears. —Trent Hanner
Hey Martha I got some debt it ain't much yo ... —Trent Hanner
Your Contributor salesman had a CD release party. —Shannon Williford
Gordon Ramsay made YOU look like an egotistical jerk. —Zack Bennett
You were so pumped to hear Dancin' in the District was coming back ... until you saw the lineup. —David Lofton
You think it's a better use of $13 million to keep a TV show than to keep a Grammy-winning symphony. —Meredith Hunter
You thumb through all 122 pages of NFocus' Steeplechase magazine expecting to find a picture of a horse. —Jeff Shearer
You are in a patent dispute over the idea for deep-fried Goo Goo Clusters. —Jeff Shearer
You know the Titans are the ultimate authority on where to buy an engagement ring. —Elizabeth Hyndman
You abhor corporate tax abatements, but support tax incentives for ABC's Nashville. —Wes Hartline
You don't bat an eye when a drunk Olympic gold medalist kicks a tourist in the shins. —Matthew Parriott
You've peed one out for your dead homey DUI Mike. —Kevin James
You have a jacket that can't be worn outside of Melrose pool hall. —Bill Millen
You think Tracy Langston needs to start using his inside voice. —Gilby Ellis
You didn't ride the bus for a year and then were pissed that they changed the routes. —Courtney Smith
You never knew Reese Witherspoon was a badass brunette. —Bill Hench
You've seen Kings of Leon out drinking before they start tweeting about it. —Daniel Smith
You run an elevated Southern food truck outfitted in reclaimed barn wood. —Lesley Lassiter
You throw the metal sign while singing about going fishing with Grandpa. —Mark Moffatt
You're still waiting for Nashvillians to realize that Nicole Kidman should not be voted "Best Local Actor." —Britt Byrd
You're on the "Don't Screw Up the Note Drop on New Year's Eve" committee. —Jamie Yost
You concede football braggin' rights to Alabama, but horse torturin' is a whole different ball game. —Bill Hench
You think the regular version and the screaming goat version of "I Knew You Were Trouble" sound exactly the same. —Jamie Yost
You swear the downtown Bobbie's Dairy Dip doesn't put as much chocolate in the shakes as the one on Charlotte. —Zack Bennett
You wish the "It City" would finally get its it together. —Tim Hibbs
The leaders of your HOA keep getting arrested at M.L. Rose. —Bill Millen
You clam up real quick when out-of-town friends start bragging about their professional sports teams. —Tim Hibbs
You hate the NHL SO MUCH and will never again — oh wait, hockey's back now? OMG SO EXCITED. —Meredith Hunter
Obama, the potholes of Green Hills, and the sexiness problem have you "Ticked Off." —Brady Mills
You recommend a simple dress code for the CMA Music Festival; no Daisy Dukes if you have a scrotum. —Bill Hench
It still bothers you that there is no Eighth Avenue North. —Alex Perez
This town somehow became cool as soon as you moved away. —Ilissa Gold
You won't be impressed 'til he does the laser eye surgery and the ballroom dancing moves at the same time! —Michael Ambar
Your summer sweat-off-the-pounds regimen consists entirely of getting a sweater like Rudy Kalis'. —Dave Carew
You wonder if the Keebler elves might live in Fudgearound, TN!!! —Michele Totty
You suspect Metro scheduled parent-teacher conferences on Election Day to suppress you from attending parent-teacher conferences. —Matt North
Your child's English scores are suffering because he continues to read OutkickTheCoverage.com. —Jimmy Quirk
Well, hockey sucked this year. —Emily Penninga
"Concerned taxpayer" was the most innocuous characterization you've ever received. —Meredith Hunter
You got Daft Punk'd by Third Man. —Meredith Hunter
You know that if Garrison Keillor comes out of the Ryman stage door and sees his shadow, there'll be six more weeks of pledge drives. —Tim Hibbs
You can't remember the last time the Nashville Scene's print edition published a sho' nuff letter to the editor. —Stacy Harris
The only way you know where to find sidewalks in Nashville is by walking with the mayor. —Stacy Harris
You won't give to the Contributor vendor who wears a Red Wings hat. —Zack Bennett
You can't wait to attend an event at the Music City Center just so you can get a decent parking spot for Arnold's Country Kitchen. —George Oeser
You get arrested in hopes of meeting Grumpy. —Perry Hutcheson
You wish H.G. Hill had mowed down The Pancake Pantry instead of Cotten Music. —John Marshall
Your girlfriend hates Channel 4 because you think Demetria is kinda hot. —John Marshall
You ever thought: "You know what would fix Hickory Hollow once and for all? An ice rink." —Zack Bennett
It makes you sad that lyrics like "chew tobacco, chew tobacco, chew tobacco, spit" came out of the songwriting capital of the world. —Andy Gasparini
Craigslist's Missed Connections has made you afraid to go anywhere near the Percy Priest Trailhead or a YMCA. —Andy Gasparini
You write a song about modern-day racism that is actually pretty fucking racist in and of itself. —Andy Gasparini
You saw a Nashville Symphony member selling The Contributor. —Jamie Yost
When you heard that Mrs. Grissom had passed you toasted her with a pimiento cheese sandwich! —Michele Totty
You are second. —Mary Carter
Vince broke down singing "Go Rest High on That Mountain" at your funeral. —Betsy Barbour
You think The Time Jumpers were the designers who created Rudy Kalis' wardrobe. —Dave Carew
You tried to decide if the embarrassment incurred by using your industry connections to get backstage at the NKOTB concert outweighed your desire to get backstage at the NKOTB concert. —Sibyl Reagan
You wish you could purchase a subscription to The Contributor and cut out the middle-man's profit —John Marshall
You can view your own rapid age progression on the walls at Villager. —Trent Hanner
You know that Tequila Cowboy has had as many names as Bridgestone Arena. —Wando Weaver
You downloaded Bart Durham's iPhone app, only to learn it's just a game in which you chase ambulances. —Zack Bennett
You think the Rutledge is a drink at the Patterson House. —Dustin Davenport
You are in favor of the BRT as long as you don't have to walk too far to get on. —Lee Wilds
Your commissioner of education is paid more than your governor. —Wando Weaver
You woke up this morning and there are two houses where one was the day before. —Jeremy Jeter
You learned how to pronounce Demonbreun a long time ago, but still aren't sure whether it's Sher-mer-horn or Sker-mer-horn. —A. Mire
You think about our late, great Mayor Beverly Briley every time you drive on the Parkway named in her honor. —Randy Smith
You think Bud Adams looks like Gene Autry with lipstick. —Randy Smith
Your broke symphony is the city's leading print advertiser. —Trent Hanner
You get your financial advice from your sports talk station. —Patten Fuqua
You're now convinced that Jimmy Buffett brought the flood. —Jennifer Foshee
You'd rather watch Smyrna. —Daniel Dunn
Mike Munchak fired you. —Patten Fuqua
You have a collection of Contributors in your backseat ... and that's only this month's issue. —Jay Sawyer
You ransacked the International Famous Twin Kegs bar and didn't even get yourself a beer. —Bill Mason
You wonder if George and Tammy have now made up. —Ken Lass
You "liked" the Catbird Seat but were really hoping they would do the "Onion Volcano." —Chuck Arnold
You think of Connie Britton as a TV star and Blake Shelton as a country singer. —Mark Kelly Hall
You are brushing your beard and Kenny Chesney falls out. —Jeff Deason
You have a well-rehearsed answer to the question, "What's a bean roll?" —Charlie Harris
You get confused when your personal trainer asks you about BMI. —Daniel Dunn
You savor your brief moment with Threk at the West End Piggly Wiggly. —Trent Hanner
You still haven't apologized to Jeffrey Womack. —Shawn Verner
After a horse race, your local park looks like there was an impromptu Kenny Chesney concert. —David Lofton
You think the Nashville Symphony should just get one of those reverse mortgages from Fred Thompson. —Ilissa Gold
You wished there were just a few more farm-to-table restaurants in Nashville. —David Lofton
You've done the entire Music City Bikeway without a single scratch on your car. —Jeff Shearer
Your iPhone doesn't autocorrect "Frist." —Daniel Dunn
Your pastor had to rewrite his entire Sunday sermon after learning the WSMV Demon was just a dandruff shampoo commercial. —Zack Bennett
You fell asleep on the couch waiting for a seat at Patterson House. —Brad Heilwagen
You have a whole set of stories that begin with, "So I was driving down Gallatin Road ... " —Jocelyn Phillips
You opened a Sylvan Park in Melrose and a Melrose in Sylvan Park. —Daniel Dunn
You've been hearing that your neighborhood will be the Next Big Thing for almost 10 years. —Jennifer Foshee
AS SEEN ON TV
You were hoping the TV show was based on Altman's movie. —Chuck Arnold
You know ABC can take Nashville away from the city, but they can't have Bob Mueller's commentary. —Wes Hartline
You're Hayden Panettiere and the only place you actually get encores is at Santa's. —Troy Akers
You know Avery's too much of a sissy to be 37206. —Meredith Hunter
Your kitchen comes in two varieties: original and soundstage. —Hayley Clay
Hayden Panettiere has been to more honky-tonks than you. —Brett Kmiec
You wish Lamar Wyatt would give up on "Subway Park" and rebuild Opryland USA. —Matthew Parriott
You recognize the show is fiction by the lack of Tin Roof benefits. —Meredith Hunter
Your fictional TV mayor's dirty laundry is cleaner than that of the actual late-1980s mayor. —Zack Bennett
You already know that Deacon and Rayna survive because the fatality tally didn't increase that night on the interstate signs. —David Lofton
You wonder what Teddy Conrad's plans are for the fairgrounds. —Jennifer Foshee
Your mom's sober companion becomes your boyfriend and manager and then cons you out of half a million dollars and then tries to blackmail you with a sex tape before he's killed by your mother in a murder-suicide. —Lesley Lassiter
Fuck you, Powers Boothe. Why won't you love me? —Andy Gasparini
You realize that every time Ashley Spurgeon posts a caustically funny Nashville episode synopsis, a kitten dies. —Tim Hibbs
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The Weirdies
You recently opened a second location of your highly successful retail/restaurant/entertainment concept in Cool Springs and/or East Nashville because the yuppies and/or hipsters expect us to bring everything to them.
You ride a Surly with Gatorskins.
You heard that Starbucks expanded their product line to now offer "toilet water"!!!
You nearly knock over the Lime-a-Rita display trying to get a better glimpse of Hayden Panattiere doing her grocery shopping.
It's midnight and you're Foobar drunk at the Hermitage Cafe eating a bacon grilled cheese & a "on the house" chicken biscuit, singing "Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?" louder than the jukebox.
You think you may be an "accidental racist" if you move too quickly when you realize you're in the wrong section of the health and beauty products aisle at Target.
Nashville is like a woman, you always have fun even if you can't find the 'it.
You've ever stuffed your skinny jeans with a Goo Goo Cluster, for that added nutty bulge.
Instead of Six Sigma your company uses Six Sikma: which is having former NBA center Jack Sikma come in to discuss post moves, rebounding, and perfecting the golden perm.
You found Stacey Campfield's to-do list and it said, "Shop at Abercrombie & Fitch, colonic at 11am, lunch with Richard Simmons."
You are so Nashville if you think Farm is spelled,E I E I O!!
You noticed rats in the West End, bedbugs downtown, go ahead: bite the hot chicken, don't mind the banjos.
click click clique gossip gossip gossip chicken country band grass fed hamburger click click click
You are so Nashville that you really truly believe this city could have a MLB team like in that fancy TV show. Or you are Clay Travis or that troll in that movie. You are so Nashville.
You are so Nashville if you really believe we are the It city. Our lights are blinking at 11:00 pm across town still. I'm surprised the Purity milkman doesn't still deliver his crate of dairy products. You are so Nashville.
You let your dog shit in my yard!
you forgo the local morning news in favor of a peek at Robin Meade because you rightly assume that:
1. There has been a shooting in north Nashville.
2. I-24 is backing up near Hickory Hollow parkway.
3. There is a 20% chance of snow/rain/tornado (seasonal)
4. Brentwood police are involved in a possible hostage situation.
5. Someone died.
6. There will be an investigative report on a local official/institution at 5:00
7. The Titans/Predators will try to rebound after .....
You are making maybe $50k, still paying off student loans, go out at least 3 nights a week and still somehow can rationalize that you can "afford" a new condo at almost $275 a square foot...and think it is a good investment
You wait for for over an hour for a table with your girlfriends at some "hot" new restaurant in town, and the first thing out of your mouth to the server is: I am not very hungry...or I had a really big lunch. then follow with an immediate request for bread and an order of the cheapest item on the menu for your "meal"
You demand to have your photo(true story, btw) with Martha Ingram airbrushed and/or photoshopped, prior to the newest issue of N/focus hitting the racks...oh wait, that was for the "your so belle meade" list
You're out of town visitors first impression of Nashville was seeing "Deja Vu" upon exiting, at which time you secretly thought "there's a turd in the punch bowl."
You believe that if John Rich were to join Big Kenny's new act, "Electric Shine," that it would be more appropriate for the duo to amend their name to "Astro Glide."
Your Blue Bell Ice Cream melted while the rent-a-cop held traffic forever for the Piedmont Gas Pipeline construction on Granny White Pike.
Every song you write or perform uses the tired, cliché formula of a musical rest as an ending to the first chorus while the artist sings the title of the song.
the NSA can confirm that you have used the "A","B","C","F","M","N", and "S" words, so; Listen ************, you better shut the **** up you stupid **********, cuz those ******* gestapo ************* are listening.You make that other ****** ***** look like a ****** angel! now sshhh!
Past Winners
1989: You think our Parthenon is better because the other one fell apart. —Susan Fenton
1990: Your mayor is married and engaged at the same time. —Maralee Self
1991: You say to the person behind the counter at the Hot Stop, "We really kicked y'all's ass in that Desert Storm." —Willie D. Sweet Jr.
1992: You go to a Hank Williams Jr. concert at Starwood and pass out before Hank does. —Ted W. Davis III
1993: Your church congregation is referred to as "the studio audience." —Sharon Kasserman
1994: You think that the H.O.V. lane is for people with AIDS. —Paul Allen
1995: No winner
1996: You never meant to stay here this long. —Robert Jetton
1997: You've checked your flower bed for Janet March. —Terry Robertson
1998: You're the only one who doesn't know you're gay. —Diana Hecht
1999: You dig up your mom. —Rick Hagey
2000: You want to vote Brad Schmitt off the island. —Chad Tribble
2001: Your minister follows the Nine Commandments. —Ken Lass
2002: Towns you've never heard of are going to be hit by a tornado at 6:51, 6:53 and 7:01 p.m. —Rick Hagey
2003: You returned a friendly Southern wave to Adam Dread as he veered across Franklin Pike. —Cindy Parrish
2004: You need a war to sell records. —Joe Scutella
2005: Your governor gives TennCare beneficiaries McDonald's instead of health care coverage. —Ken Lass
2006: You were a gay cowboy before being a gay cowboy was cool. —Michael Williams
2007: You saw Kenny Chesney in a Kroger reading Out & About. —Michael Williams
2008: Your DUI arrest gets a five-star rating on YouTube. —Roy Moore
2009: Your local GOP makes the KKK look like the ACLU. —Jonathan Belcher
2010: Your city flooded and all you got was a lousy T-shirt. —David Anthony
2011: Gay gay gay, gay gay; gay gay gay gay gay. —Dana Delworth
2012: You think Bart Durham should direct the Real Housewives of Nashville. —Holly Matthews
Email editor@nashvillescene.com.
