N.W.A. Featuring Eminem: Is it Chill?

Last month, three of N.W.A.'s surviving members reunited for the first time in 26 years to perform at the BET Experience in Los Angeles. The trio — Ice Cube, MC Ren and DJ Yella — was there to promote the upcoming (and questionably watchable) upcoming biopic Straight Outta Compton. With the film due in theaters Aug. 14, rumors and speculation of a full-fledged N.W.A. reunion and tour wilder than ever. Yesterday, an interview by The Hollywood Reporter with Ice Cube and Dr. Dre sent a streak of controversy throughout the Internet, suggesting the Beatles of gangsta rap were potentially reuniting for a European tour ...  with straight-out-of-Detroit caucasian rapper and Dr. Dre protege Eminem standing in for the late Eazy-E.

Today, a rep for Dr. Dre and Eminem contested the report, telling Rolling Stone, "the pair have no plans to tour together, either solo or with N.W.A." 

That's bummer news, depending on who you ask. While the initial report of a Slim Shady-enhanced N.W.A. sparked a healthy amount of knee-jerk cynicism on social media, it also left those of us who'd certainly enjoy a reunion tour with a big-ass "what if?" If N.W.A were to reunite, who'd be a suitable stand-in for Eazy-E? Assuming Trey Anastasio is unavailable, would Eminem be a worthy choice?  

It isn’t the worst idea I’ve ever heard. Obviously, Eminem got his start as a padawan under Dr. Dre’s wing in the late '90s. And the rapper's apparently also got at least one song (that with any luck sound like the sequel to "Lose Yourself") on the Straight Outta Compton soundtrack, though it doesn’t make a ton of sense to have a contemporary Detroit rapper on the soundtrack to a film that takes place in 1980s L.A., but I digress. Eminem is an acrobatic wordsmith, capable of spitting fire hotter than most. He also just loves rhyming about angry shit, so “Fuck the Police” wouldn’t sound that contrived coming from his notoriously scathing tongue. His name even starts with an E, so he wouldn’t even have to change that many of the lyrics. His voice is also in a high-pitched register similar in timbre to Eazy's. Of course, as evidenced by his headlining Bonnaroo spot a few years ago and stadium gigs with Jay Z and Rihanna, Eminem is still a heavy draw — as if a reunited N.W.A. really needs any more star power to sweeten the pot. 

That said, should the new member of N.W.A. be able to explain the acronym without facing any backlash from the PC police, or the irony police? Eminem has successfully deflected the former in the past. The latter, not so much. Shouldn’t the guy screaming “Straight Outta Compton” be a guy from Compton (like, say, Kendrick Lamar)? Obviously, this would be an epic gig suitable for one of the most formidable MCs in the game, but I can’t help but think there’s at least five better options, and so I'm listing them below. 

1. The D.O.C.

An early Ruthless Records signee and a creative force behind the group throughout their run, the fact D.O.C. isn’t already included in the N.W.A. is kind of a head-scratcher. He co-wrote and contributed verses on Straight Outta Compton, as well as Eazy-E’s debut, Eazy-Does-It. He referenced his own solo debut No One Can Do it Better when co-writing Dre’s “Ain’t Nothin’ But a G Thang” and has been a staple of Dr. Dre’s writing team on every album since. All that is to say, he's easily the most qualified for the job.

The D.O.C. did suffer severe damage to his vocal chords in a car accident in 1989, which left him unable to rap for many years. Though he's been promising a comeback album for quite a while, it’s very likely he’s simply unable to carry the demands of a tour. None of my Googling can confirm that’s the case, but even if it is, I’ve got four more options in tow.

2. Kendrick Lamar

Realistically speaking, it’s a tall order considering Lamar is in higher demand than possibly any other rapper working today. While he’s less than half the age of the dudes with the attitudes, Lamar reps West Coast gangsta rap as his biggest influence, and his voice even bears a raspy resemblance to Eazy’s. He’s also from Compton, and he and Dre also have a very positive working relationship at the moment.

3. Snoop Dogg

When the world was first introduced to him, he was Snoop Doggy Dogg — a featured performer on Dr. Dre’s first solo record, The Chronic. Given Snoop's history hustling and rhyming on the streets of Compton during N.W.A.‘s original run, the man’s a true O.G. from the second-wave of West Coast gangsta rap – and when have you known Snoop Dogg to turn away a project?

4. Lil Eazy E

Has anyone considered the “Jason Bonham” option? Eazy’s son served as a consultant on the film and was briefly considered to play the part of his dad. A quick listen to his cover of “Boyz In The Hood” suggest he’s definitely a competent rapper. While he obviously lacks a lot his old man’s charisma, the next-of-kin option still makes more sense than Eminem.

5. A Hologram

Dr. Dre experimented with hologram technology when he and Snoop performed with the deceased 2-Pac at Coachella in 2012. Yeah, it’s a little hokey... but hokier than Eminem spitting on "100 Miles and Runnin'"?

I ask you again, Creamers and encourage your input ... N.W.A. and Eminem: Is it chill?