Duh, of course the award for
best fart songgoes to Gene Belcher’s “Farts Are Liberty.” No one knows how to write an ode to flatulence better than the 8-year-old boy with a keytar. (You were a close second, Mr. Seger. Better luck next time.)
Speaking of farts (or in this case, human beings who look like farts): Tonight Mötley Crüe will play Nashville for the very last time. Once this (supposedly final) tour ends, the dudes are going to have loads of spare time on their hands — maybe they'll join a book club or a bowling league. Or maybe they'll take a cooking class! (Related: I would never eat any food prepared by Vince Neil. Ever.) Or better still, retirement may help them realize they want to finally settle down; they could very well hop on Tinder and start looking for "the one." That could be you!
Which brings us to today's Lunchtime Poll question:
If you had to go on a date with a member of Mötley Crüe, which member of Mötley Crüe would you go on a date with?
The Pros: Of all of them, Nikki Sixx appears to at least shower semi-frequently, but on the other hand, Tommy Lee is rumored to have a Starbucks in his house. The Cons: Vince Neil has a history of drunk driving and has also been charged with domestic abuse.
Before you vote, keep in mind: Kissing might be involved. And you'd definitely have to share a dessert from across the table at Rolf & Daughters, so answer carefully.
