Well, my dear, dear Creamy friends, it's time again for the grand anti-climax. For the second year in a row, I don't really have a dog in the finale fight. (RIP Skylar; RIP Joshua.) Yes, I want a lady to win. Then again, I don't think Robo-Sanchez has ever done anything vaguely interesting. Yes, I want to make sweet love to Phillip Phillips. Then again, he is not in the least qualified to win a national singing competition. Oh well, someone has to win a lifetime guarantee of fame and fortune. Just ask
Lee DeWyze!
You can tell tonight is special because they've relocated the circus to the Nokia Theater and J-Lo looks like a glammed-up member of the Borg. Small Wonder is up first, singing producer Simon Fuller's choice, and I can already see that she's wearing a silly ballad gown. She is singing Whitney Houston's "I Have Nothing." Because of course she is. I feel like her voice has gotten less impressive over the weeks. You know every note she's gonna hit (hint: It's the exact same one the original artists did). Let me also mention the empty emotional pantomime that results when a 16-year-old home-schooler sings a song about intense, undying love. So yeah, Jessica's first performance is exactly what you expected it to be.
