Douchey Duds APB: Big Kenny’s Hillbilly Jedi Vest Goes Missing in Kansas City [Oh, the Humility]

How does one cope with being the less-famous-by-a-long-shot half of a second-tier country duo? In the case of Big & Rich’s more-likable half, “Big” Kenny Alphin, it’s by way of a security blanket … a security blanket in the form of a vest — a fringe-laden, suede-y, torso-huggin’, buckskin-lookin’ accessory he calls, or perhaps called, his Hillbilly Jedi Vest. (Hillbilly Jedi is the name of Big & Rich’s forthcoming fourth full-length slap in the face to listenable music, and that shouldn’t surprise you.)

The HJV — a homemade Alphin family keepsake near and dear to Big Kenny’s heart — went missing following a Big & Rich performance Saturday night in Bonner Springs, Kan., where the band appeared at the Q104 Y’allapalooza Festival. (No, I did not make any of that up.) Thus begging the question: What’s the difference between a Hillbilly Han Solo and an actual Han Solo? While actual Han Solo almost lost Princess Leia, Hillbilly Han Solo actually lost his hide.

Investigating the disappearance, the duo, which is not in Kansas anymore, immediately took to social media in a crowd-sourced reconnaissance mission to reclaim the mislaid hillbilly habiliment.