Most know Melrose as a basement billiards hall with free popcorn, but I’ve been frequenting for a different salty, crunchy snack. Late on a Friday night, I found myself sitting at the bar, one too many vodka-ginger-ales deep, in desperate need of sustenance. I glossed over the menu and saw, in handwritten-looking letters, “HAWAII FIVE-O, $4.99.” The price was right, so I skipped the description — something not always advisable — and out came a small basket of deep-fried Spam bites with “1,001 Sauce" (ingredients: mayo, ketchup, house bread-and-butter pickles, horseradish, red onion, Worcestershire). Spam consists of just six ingredients: a pork-and-ham mixture, salt, water, potato starch, sugar and sodium nitrate. When fried and served in bite-size portions, it tastes like popcorn chicken with a slightly longer chew time. I ate a handful, passed the rest around to my friends, and talked about them for weeks. It hit me, however, that my intoxicated state might have influenced the wonderment and awe the Spam bites inspired. I returned to Melrose, substituted the vodka-ginger-ales with water, and ordered the Hawaii Five-O again, only to discover that I am a newly converted Spam fan, even sober.
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