“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.” If that sentence is the first thing you think of when you hear “Cincinnati,” you’re not alone. The “Turkey’s Away” episode of WKRP in Cincinnati — in which a Thanksgiving giveaway turns tragically hilarious as live turkeys drop from a helicopter — is iconic. But it didn’t arm me with much in terms of context.
At just over 270 miles and four hours away, Cincinnati was our pick because we could make a pit stop along the way to see friends in Louisville — a critical feature when you’re traveling with a carseat-hating 1.5-year-old — and we heard the food was good. Sold! The drive itself is fine, but you do get the bonus of just barely entering Eastern time, which maximizes your daylight hours.
Stay
Downtown Cincinnati is pretty walkable, so anchor there. Your old-school option is the Hilton Cincinnati Netherland Plaza, a National Historic Landmark built in 1931. The French Art Deco bar is sumptuous in a way that will make you feel brassy yet sophisticated — like somewhere you should throw a martini in some cad’s face.
For boutique options, try the Marriott-owned Kinley or the 21c Museum Hotel. The latter is clean, modern and spacious — something you’ll appreciate if you’ve ever visited the small rooms at Nashville’s 21c (now The Banker’s Alley Hotel). They also have a balmy rooftop, an unstuffy atmosphere and a friendly staff who made sure to bring their signature penguin statue to sit with my daughter while we ate, which is always good for a smile. And at their restaurant Metropole, the shrimp with corn, okra and cacio-e-pepe grits was better than any grits above the Mason-Dixon line ought to be — creamy, savory, satisfying.
On the other side of the bridge there’s the Embassy Suites by Hilton Cincinnati RiverCenter. If you’re in town for a Bengals game, it’s a clean, convenient spot with a solid free breakfast.
Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical garden
Do
While we’re on the “other side” — aka the Kentucky side of Cincinnati, known as Covington — let’s start at the John A. Roebling Bridge. When it opened in 1867, it was the longest bridge in the world, with a suspension system made of 10,000-plus wires imported from England. My vote: Enjoy a scenic walk across, as driving will vibrate the fillings right out of your head. Then stop at Smale Riverfront Park. Explore the gardens, giant swings, splash pad, carousel and interactive foot piano where, yes, you can have your Big movie moment.
For fuel, you cannot go wrong at Cafe Mochiko. The Asian American restaurant is helmed by chefs (and spouses) Erik and Elaine Uykimpang Bentz. The latter is known for baking delectable things — kimchi-egg croissants, peanut butter miso cookies — and getting attention from Food & Wine and the James Beard Foundation. At night, the bakery turns into an upscale slurpfest with its chili-miso udon and Cincy-style tsukemen. Mochiko is simply mouthwatering, both in food and in chill-but-luxe decor.
If you want classic, Cincinnati chili is, obviously, A Thing — and a good thing! More sauce than stew, the cinnamon-scented chili is great on hot dogs, which you can get at 80-plus Gold Star locations. But for the real deal, get it on spaghetti, and get it at Price Hill Chili Family Restaurant. With a name as sprawling as its building, this place is equal parts good Catholics getting out of Mass and locals eating off their hangovers. (And often, those people are the same.) All know that sweet sauce plus tender noodles plus starchy beans plus crunchy onions plus at least 25 pounds of shredded cheddar — aka “the five-way” — is just what you need to set you right.
For activity, start or end at the Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden. Midday is for suckers, but that’s doubly true here. The opening lines at 10 a.m. are Soup Nazi level, and they move just as fast, so buy your tickets online. The crowds come for good reason: This zoo is logistically and aesthetically one of the best I’ve been to (and that’s saying something, as I am from Memphis).
Exhibits include everything from monkeys that bleat like car alarms to the biggest insect display in North America. (No thanks!) Most importantly, they include Roo Valley, where you can walk among kangaroos, ducklings and baby penguins, and I’m not crying — everyone is crying because it is so disgustingly cute ... and because the lines are long, so bring activities. (Sidebar: I must shout out the Nashville Zoo here, whose Kangaroo Kickabout even lets you pet the surprisingly soft ’roos, which is sublime.) Another literally cool thing: The Cincinnati Zoo is an arboretum, a botanical garden devoted to trees, so it’s comfortable in high heat. Even the parking lot is impressive, with 6,000-plus solar panels that produce 20 percent of the zoo’s energy.
Mecklenburg Gardens
While you’re in the area, stop by Mecklenburg Gardens for a schwarzbier. Opened in 1865, the German restaurant and biergarten is a decidedly unstuffy addition to the National Register of Historic Places. In the late 1800s, it was a meeting place for German immigrants, many of whom came to Cincinnati to make their fortune in two equally sexy industries: steamboats and pork packing. By the 1920s, Mecklenburg was a speakeasy that let patrons know if there was liquor for sale using a model ship above the bar. (North meant party time; south meant dry.) Today, pull up a chair at the dark-wood bar — supposedly sourced from the actual Black Forest — and order fried sauerkraut balls and Bavarian meatballs. The meatballs are braised in a creamy, sherry-infused sauce that’s just the salty-rich snack you’ll crave after a Kölsch.
Walk all that off in the Over-the-Rhine (OTR) neighborhood, which is full of colorful murals, fun shops like Artichoke Curated Cookware Collection (where you can drop lots of cash on a fancy French dish) or Findlay Market (where you can drop very little cash on lots of stuff!). Whatever you do, don’t miss Rhinegeist brewery, which I would call an adult playground but is actually more of an adult compound with games and booze and the city’s best rooftop.
Walking around OTR, I learned something: America is doing church wrong. Thousands are closing, leaving stunning, empty buildings empty where we could be opening dope, architecturally significant restaurants or whatever. Taft’s Ale House is a prime example. Named for Cincinnati’s own William Howard Taft, the Greek-revival building is two stories of dark wood with simple, original accents (stained-glass window, bell tower) and great beer. They have live music and, more importantly, they have fun, and we could all use more of that. See also: the bathtub upstairs, which is a nod to the now-disproven story that President Taft was so large he got stuck in one at the White House.
Back downtown, find the oldest bar in Cincinnati: Arnold’s Bar & Grill. The still-family-owned joint dates back to the 1830s, when it was a barbershop and feed store. The store’s courtyard is now used for live music, and some of the food has been modernized. The Mexican Street Cauli (fried cauliflower, done elote-style with Parm, mayo, jalapeño, etc.) is pretty spectacular. But you can still get their signature Greek spaghetti — in honor of the other group of immigrants who led the steamboatin’-pig-packin’ rush with the Germans — for a simple, salty pasta topped with garlic sauce, olives, bacon and Romano cheese.
The best thing about Arnold’s is that, like all the best places in Cincinnati, it has that I’ve-been-coming-here-all-my-life vibe. But don’t be fooled — things are different! As their website says: “The bartenders have changed ... women [can] enter through any door now, and the cost of a beer has increased slightly.” We’ll gladly pay the upcharge any time.
Five destinations for the perfect weekend getaway — plus details on the best theme parks in the region
