Comedian, musician, podcaster and Nashvillian Chris Crofton asked the Scene for an advice column, so we gave him one. Crowning himself the “Advice King,” Crofton will share his hard-won wisdom with whosoever seeks it. Follow Crofton on Facebook and Twitter, and to submit a question for the Advice King, email bestofbread[at]gmail[dot]com or editor[at]nashvillescene[dot]com.
Dear Advice King,
Why is everyone flipping out about the Exit/In closing — including you? I follow you on social media, and I’ve seen you posting about it. That venue sucks! The dressing room sucks, the sound isn’t great, they don’t pay well, etc. Have you considered that you are just upset for nostalgic reasons? Am I wrong about this? If so, explain why, please.
—Future Man in Nashville
This is a great question, “Future Man” — and it’s complicated. Here are the things I thought of after reading about this:
It has definitely occurred to me that I might simply be feeling nostalgic. I certainly don’t want to be the “old guy” who hates new things just because they are new. But this is a very specific case — and a very specific venue. Exit/In has a major history. A musical history. “Music City” ... get it?
Billy Joel performed at Exit/In Jan. 16 to 19, 1974. Tickets cost less than $10. Billy Joel is playing Nissan Stadium in May, and seats in front of the stage are currently going for $2,862 on Ticketmaster. (Adjusting for inflation, that's about $475 in 1974 bucks.)
Who is this “New Nashville” for? These giant glass hotels aren’t for the 17.2 percent of Nashvillians who live in poverty, that’s for sure. SEVENTEEN PERCENT.
Are visitors to Nashville eventually going to be looking out the windows of their luxury hotels at ... other luxury hotels? Are they already? Is this culture, or commerce? It’s definitely not music. Who gets the money?
LET THEM EAT STADIUMS.
AJ Capital paid $6.45 million for Exit/In’s half-acre plot, so keep your eyes on the sky. Is a legendary music venue being dwarfed by a giant hotel a metaphor? If it isn’t, why isn’t it?
FUN FACT: Nashville’s Big Machine Records is wholly owned by a South Korean entertainment company called Hybe Corporation.
From 2005 through 2009, I hosted a radio show on the Vanderbilt University radio station, WRVU. One semester, the DJ of the show after mine was a Vanderbilt student who dressed like a golf pro. His show was called The Cocktail Hour, but it was scheduled at 11 a.m., which upset him. He played stuff like “Honky Tonk Women” and the Aerosmith song “Pink.” This is 100 percent true. It was the year Nashville’s Tower Records was closing. I remember this guy said, on air, “It’s too bad Tower Records is closing, but hey — maybe they’ll put in a sweet restaurant!”
Call me crazy, but I think “New Nashville” is intended to be a playground for the rich. There’s not a damn thing musical about that.
And finally, here’s a poem about Exit/In:
"EXIT/IN"
I didn’t choose class warfare,
it came to me
and I’m not gonna call
class warfare
something else
just because you don’t wanna hear it
and music
is not a luxury item
or a background noise
it is a
fucking
miracle
and it hates hotels.
