Let's say you didn't spend your Saturday afternoon watching Tennessee play Vanderbilt. Let's say instead you did something silly, like raked leaves. Or volunteered at a soup kitchen.
Whatever. Point is, after you came inside and removed your coat and switched on the TV you saw a stat flash along that little ticker at the bottom of the screen: Tennessee had 21 passing yards. Total. For the game. OK quick, what's your first thought?
Gotta be something like "Gee, how badly did the Commodores beat them," right? After all, the only Division I teams that win with anemic passing lines like that are Power-I disciple academies like Navy and Air Force. Ahhhhh, but not this year!
Not with Vandy ranked 118th and Tennessee ranked 117th (bragging rights!) in total offense. Not with the execrable Jonathan Crompton behind center. And don't just take my word for it. Observe the following online convo between Every Day Should Be Saturday's Orson Swindle and some prescient Tennessee fan named Holly:
12:13:47 PM Holly: Oh, Jesus, they put Crompton back in
12:13:51 PM Holly: timestamp this
12:13:59 PM Holly: let's see how long before something horrible happens
12:14:00 PM Swindle: You can't be nervous
12:14:03 PM Holly: No.
12:14:07 PM Swindle: (3:14)
12:14:09 PM Holly: Well, we're up by 10
12:14:11 PM Holly: so I can
12:14:13 PM Holly: but I'm not.
12:14:35 PM Swindle: You have powers
12:14:37 PM Holly: Fumble!
12:14:39 PM Holly: I AM NOT KIDDING
12:14:44 PM Swindle: That was under a minute
12:14:47 PM Holly: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
12:14:53 PM Holly: this is science at this point, right?
12:15:10 PM Swindle: Yes. I am comfortable saying this is correlation.
Tennessee QB-ineptitude is now about as watch-settingly accurate as the sun dial. That couldn't bode well for the future.
