Illustrations by Marty Granius
Once again, the Nashville Scene’s “Committee of Insiders” has convened in secret chambers to judge the INCREDIBLY HUGE number of entries in our “You Are So Nashville If...” contest. At the outset, let us say that this year’s contest produced a bumper-crop of excellent entries. You would think Metro Water and Sewer had put something in the tap water.
For you newcomers, a bit of explanation about where this contest came from, and what it’s about:
The contest simply asks readers to complete the sentence, “You Are So Nashville If...” We began it way back in 1989—this is the 11th one so far—ripping the idea off from a newspaper in Richmond, Va., called Style. Each year we publicize the event, ask readers to send in their entries, and pick a winner.
Over the years, we have come to rely on the contest to provide some commentary on an actual event that has taken place in Nashville over the last year. Or the entries reflect some eternal verity about what it is like to be a Nashvillian.
This year’s entries provided the usual number of observations about our obsession with graciousness, our rage against bad drivers, and our never-ending curiosity about Channel 4’s Snowbird. There were some weird entries too, along with some very angry ones, and the usual assortment of sweet ones that appealed to our better natures.
We want to thank the readers for taking part and sending in something on the order of 2,000 ideas. They can be proud of their work.
1st Place:
You dig up your mom. Richard Hagey, Chicago, Ill.
2nd Place:
You used to complain about all the tourists, but now you complain that they’re not here. -Roger Abramson, Nashville
3rd Place:
You fear that the great guy you just met may be one of those medieval jousters in Elmington Park on Sundays. -Katie Kaye, Nashville
4th Place:
You think Starbucks will ruin the neighborhood. -Robin Cohn, Nashville
5th Place:
You were more upset about losing KDF than you were about losing Jack. -Ken Whitehouse, Nashville
Honorable Mention
You shop at Feed the Children. -Phillip R. Cloutier, North Hollywood, Calif.
Honorable Mention
You shop at Feed the Children. -Phillip R. Cloutier, North Hollywood, Calif.
We're not done yet! Look below for more "You Are So Nashville If...."
