1. Angelinette L. Crawford, a Tennessee state trooper, was placed on administrative leave in July after she accidentally shot her younger brother in the leg during a scuffle. According to police, the cause of the argument was:
A. a dispute over which Monkee was cuter.
B. the deadly East Meade-West Meade hip-hop rivalry.
C. the great new taste of Pepsi Holiday Spice.
D. a tub of butter.
2. In March, Rhea County commissioners voted unanimously to approve a measure that they felt would make their community more livable. The controversial measure:
A. required all Klansmen to wear neatly starched hoods.
B. outlawed Hispanics, except roofers.
C. revoked women's right to vote, except when it concerns something frilly.
D. barred gay people from living within the county.
3. No one can say the Scene doesn't grapple with the important issues of the day in its ongoing quest for journalistic excellence. Last summer, a heated office debate arose over:
A. whether the paper truly reflects the city's values.
B. whether coverage was unfairly slanted toward one presidential candidate.
C. whether the paper should advocate medical marijuana.
D. whether to use the word "crap" or "stinky" on the cover.
4. According to a memorable Davidson A.M. gaffe, the Sevier Park mansion was partially damaged during the Civil War:
A. by killer bees.
B. by that wackjob Adelicia Acklen.
C. by Gen. Ulysses S. Grant's clanking army of cast-iron robots.
D. in 1984.
5. Glossy athletic supporter Sports Nashville set the tone for its coverage in its very first issue with:
A. a "Hey-buh, Nashville-buh!" editorial written entirely in Mushmouth-speak.
B. a centerfold of Eddie George's agent.
C. secret photos from the Nashville Kats' locker room.
D. a cover shot of Jeff Fisher's ass.
6. Picked by many observers to enjoy their first winning season in 22 years, the Vanderbilt Commodores arrived at game day heralded by a Tennessean headline reading, "Pursuit of bowl bid starts today for Vandy." Instead, the first game of the season was a 31-6 massacre that one appalled observer compared to the bloodbath at Manassas. Which mediocre foe stomped Vandy senseless?
A. The Bad News Bears.
B. The Golden Girls.
C. Father Ryan—not the team, just Father Ryan.
D. The South Carolina Gamecocks.
7. On the bright side, against which of these teams did the 'Dores not blow a second-half, double-digit lead en route to ignominious defeat?
A. Kentucky
B. Rutgers
C. Ole Miss
D. Tufts
8. At the Tennessee State Fair, Murfreesboro transmission shop owner Lynn Curley earned a blue ribbon through the remarkable feat of:
A. milking three goats simultaneously.
B. tossing a cow chip 141 feet.
C. performing all nine minutes of "Free Bird," guitar solo and all, by farting.
D. eating 33 Krystals in 8 minutes, thus tying champion competitive eater Ed "Cookie" Jarvis and advancing to Krystal's World Hamburger Eating Championship in Chattanooga.
9. A Clarksville day-care center faced closure after state Department of Human Services investigators found what unusual form of entertainment near the kids' play area?
A. Whimpering Barbie.
B. The lost Dr. Seuss classic Horton Hears a Ho.
C. Merv Griffin.
D. A homemade sex video starring the center's owner and her female employee.
10. On New Year's Day 2004, residents near Granny White Pike got a little something extra with their copies of the Scene's "Annual Manual," namely:
A. the "Mid-Midwinter Guide," one of our rare, infrequent special sections.
B. ...wow, Jim Ridley actually writing about the Belcourt!
C. the secret code for Liz Murray Garrigan's ruthless climb to the top.
D. recruitment fliers for the Ku Klux Klan, left by anonymous wackos.
Answers to questions 1 through 10: D.
