We've all heard the arguments. We can't have gay marriage, because then a man will want to marry his goat or have sex with an ATM or a picnic table or something. There's always the promise of dire consequences resulting in public debauchery.
Well, here we are. Over the weekend, Lonnie Hutton tried to have sex with an ATM and a picnic table. Allegedly. And somewhat unsuccessfully. And rudely. He didn't even buy the ATM a drink first and he was at a bar. WKRN reports:
According to the arrest report, Lonnie Hutton, 49, walked into the Boro Bar and Grill on Greenland Drive and up to the ATM. He pulled down his pants and underwear, exposing his genitals, and then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the ATM, the report stated.Responding officers found Hutton, still nude from the waist down, walking around the bar, thrusting his hips in the air.
Officers took Hutton outside and told him to sit at a wooden picnic table.
The report stated he “exposed himself again and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table.”
So, this seems to me to undermine the biggest argument against gay marriage. Gay marriage can't make the rest of us any more debauched that we already are. Plus, this happened on Friday and, I don't know about you, but I didn't sense any massive disturbance in the Force. I just laughed about it later when I found out. So, apparently, people can get up to all kinds of stuff I think is really strange — like fucking a picnic table — and it has no effect on my life at all.
There's probably a lesson in that for people who are nervous about gay marriage.
