Local reprobate James “Numbers Jimmy” Shore, who wrote the underground bestseller The Book of the Lack of Virtues during his last prison stint, has admirers disillusioned following revelations that he actually may be a far better person than his public persona would suggest, sources say.
For several years now, Shore has enjoyed strong word-of-mouth sales for his book, in which the self-described gambler, bookmaker and general lowlife puts forth his philosophy that a happy and meaningful life can be achieved by systematically using and exploiting other people. Now, however, his reputation as a high-rolling snake-in-the-grass is in tatters.
First came the news that Shore donates a substantial portion of his income to various charitable causes. That shocker was followed by word that, despite his reputation, Shore actually lives quite simply in Inglewood with his wife of 27 years, Persephone “Nuff” Shore, and their two daughters, who both attend Harpeth Hall.
These troubling details of his virtuous life were compounded when it was revealed that Shore recently went on a mission trip to Central America with a local church. His business associates tried to cover for him, instead explaining his absence from the local gambling scene by saying he was “working on a big deal” in Kansas City. The truth, however, eventually surfaced.
“The guy was making out like he was hobnobbing with gangsters,” a former admirer says. “Then we find out he’s really helping build an orphanage in Guatemala.”
“Yeah, my life is pretty inconsistent with my book,” Shore cheerfully concedes. “But what kind of idiot would take seriously a book by some random guy pretending to tell you how to live? I mean, that’s pretty pathetic.”
(The Fabricator is satire. Don’t believe everything you read.)
“Yeah, my life is pretty inconsistent with my book,” Shore cheerfully concedes. “But what kind of idiot would take seriously a book by some random guy pretending to tell you how to live? I mean, that’s pretty pathetic.”
(The Fabricator is satire. Don’t believe everything you read.)
