The Road Trip Issue: Three Epic Nashville Staycations

Fifteen million people visited Nashville last year. That’s more than the population of Belgium and 21 times Nashville’s own. If that doesn’t have you crumbling Xanax in your smoothie, this will: Scores of new hotels are in the works right now. So, yeah — this tourism thing? It isn’t slowing down. 

While that’s good for (some of) our pocketbooks, it’s mostly a pain in our collective ass. We are outnumbered, and if I have to have one more conversation with my Lyft driver about where I’m visiting from, I’m gonna throw him under a party barge. But all the nonsense does come with an upside: Nashville’s staycation options have never been better, and it’s time we locals take advantage. Here are three Music City staycation itineraries — each walkable — designed just for us.  

Germantown

Stay

People think of Germantown as a neighborhood for locals, and with good reason: There’s only one hotel. Luckily, The Germantown Inn is the only one you need. For years, I walked past the bed-and-breakfast without knowing it existed, and that’s by design. Constructed in 1865, the home was transformed into a B&B just three years ago, and it’s dripping with charm: red brick, high ceilings, Big Easy-style courtyard, rooftop terrace. The rooms are named for mostly nonembarrassing U.S. presidents and boss broads like Abigail Adams and Rosa Parks. Throw in the complimentary happy hour, and you will be both blissed (it’s relaxing!) and pissed (you didn’t buy in Germantown when you should’ve.). If it makes you feel any better, the house’s original purchase price was $750, so everyone got screwed. Welcome to Nashville!

See

Hit a few at TopGolf’s high-tech driving ranges, or visit First Tennessee Park for a Nashville SC match or Sounds game, where The Band Box serves an elevated ballpark menu that includes rotating, limited-edition eats from the chefs of Bastion, Husk and the like. Wander through the brand-new, free Tennessee State Museum for some history that’s more than just Old Stuff Behind Glass. Don’t miss the interactive table maps that are essentially county time capsules, a nice touch that’s clearly for locals. (I don’t imagine Kenny from Columbus cares much about what went down in Byrdstown during the Civil War, but I do.) Stop at Bicentennial Mall to hear 95 bells play classic Tennessee songs, and swing by Poppy + Monroe for pampering and Yuyo Botanics turmeric salve, a menthol/CBD rub that works wonders on pain. Then check out The Back Corner, a small venue behind 5th & Taylor that quietly hosts everything from DJ parties to acoustic concerts.

Eat

Coffee shops in Germantown are top-notch, which means the baristas will definitely correct you if you order mere “iced coffee.” (It’s cold brew, you cretin.) Ignore the attitude and opt for Steadfast Coffee’s cozy courtyard and drool-worthy breakfast sandwich (poached egg, grainy mustard, Calabrian mayo, pickled onions). Or go to Big Al’s Deli for soul food, gargantuan $8 omelettes, delightful clutter and true hospitality. At Bearded Iris brewery, skip the dank taproom and drain a hoppy pint on the patio. For dinner, spin the wheel: City House, Silo, Henrietta Red, whatever’s currently open in the former Kuchnia & Keller space. (No, I am still not over it.) Personally, I’d grab a bar seat at Rolf and Daughters and order whatever weird veggie dish they’re slinging. Raw butternut squash, cheese and nut sauce? Yes, please! Nobody turns batshit combinations into home runs like Rolf’s Philip Krajeck. For a nightcap, hit Geist, an exquisitely renovated blacksmith shop dating back to 1886.

If your staycation allows you to cook, put together a mix-and-match meal of noodles and sauce from Lazzaroli Pasta. Fettuccine or fusilli? Shallot cream or marinara? All are winners. Stock up on flash-frozen ravioli and Pancho’s cheese dip. (That dip is inarguably the world’s best. Just ask a Memphian.)

Downtown

Stay

The same way Nashville builders throw up two (tall, skinny, conjoined) houses and promptly name their “new neighborhood,” so too do our hoteliers. Thus Fourth Avenue near Printers Alley was reborn as “Boutique Row,” with sophisticated hotels just far enough from Broadway that you can (mostly) avoid the bros cruising for “aspirational girls — you know, chicks where you don’t have to try.” Yes, that’s a real quote from a downtown douche, and yes, we’re all dumber for knowing it. Nashville has traded in harmless, woo-ing bachelorettes for a far more sinister pest: gel-soaked, over-cologned misogynists in sweatpants on scooters. Let’s exorcise that visual with pretty places, shall we? 

Noelle is Nashville’s most thoughtful hotel: impeccable dining, local art, complimentary in-room coffee service, and hydration stations on each floor. Yes, that term is ludicrous, but if you don’t think a hotel offering free sparkling water and individual bags of ice is luxurious, someone needs to Trading Places your ass. Next door is Dream, with colorful art deco rooms, stunning marble walls, six different places to drink and dine, and the best damn cold brew I’ve ever had. (It tastes like chocolate.) Next is Bobby, which feels like a fancy hotel that’s still drunk from the night before. Its rooftop is a lively urban oasis: small pool, bar, cabanas and retrofitted 1956 bus. Finally, The Fairlane is a chic retro space so thick with Mad Men-esque swagger that you’ll want to slam an Old Fashioned and make a pass at your secretary. Their beds also have fold-down drink caddies — another luxury I didn’t know I needed. 

Because these hotels are clustered, the amenities of one become the amenities of the other, so I say throw on a robe and Frogger your way down the block. You still won’t look as stupid as half the people downtown. Speaking of stupid, do not valet park. The $40 these places charge is criminal, and we are locals, so we must act like we have sense. Park at One Nashville Place a block away for $15.

See

At Bobby, pet the lobby dog Sasha and stroll around the second floor to check out art by Bernie Taupin, Elton John’s lyricist. Continue your mini-art crawl at the free 21c Museum. Walk to The George Jones, grab a beer and take it on your $10 self-guided tour. This museum doesn’t draw crowds like Johnny Cash’s, and that is exactly why it’s awesome — that and the fact that the Possum was a hilarious son of a bitch. Catch the sunset on a rooftop (Rare Bird, Bobby), and go see a show at the Ryman. If you’ve been to the Ryman before, go again. I’ll wait. Or catch some blessedly non-scatty jazz at Black Rabbit or burlesque at Skull’s Rainbow Room, where you must make a dinner reservation and order the obscenely good escargot-stuffed mushrooms.

Eat

If you’re staying on a weekday, eat lunch at Red Perch in The Arcade. I’d put their fish and chips up against any in London. Mile End Deli offers a solid bagel and lox, Makeready is an anytime MVP (pork schnitzel!), and Stateside Kitchen is good for sushi, sandwiches and style, with a gorgeous Arcade-style glass ceiling. For dinner, go wild on Black Rabbit’s small plates, starting with roast chicken and ending with vinegar pie. Then visit the not-so-secret Secret Bar at Noelle, a chameleon club currently channeling Moulin Rouge. It’ll make you feel like a sexy 19th-century call girl, minus the syphilis. 

Grab some lovely, fancy things from local brands (Ceri Hoover, Lemon Laine) at Noelle’s ultra-curated Keep Shop, and grab some snacks from The Peanut Shop. Back in the 1930s, Barnum & Bailey Circus elephants used to pull wagons right into The Arcade, get loaded up with nuts and walk to the fairgrounds.

East Nashville

Stay

East Nashville offers two killer B&Bs with completely different vibes. The brand-new Vandyke Bed & Beverage is a decidedly adult adventure (seriously: no kids allowed), smack in the middle of Five Points, where the rooms are spirit-themed (gin, tequila, etc.). While the liquor-as-a-theme thing sounds a little cheesy, the rooms are not: They’re beautiful, with tall ceilings, vibrant colors and sumptuous decor. There’s a rooftop, string-lit patio for relaxing or raging, as well as a stylish on-site bar where you can sip, snack or work (God forbid). Read more about Vandyke in last week’s issue of the Scene.

Down the street is Urban Cowboy B&B, a Brooklyn export that’s essentially a hipster vision board come to life. The fully restored, creaky Victorian mansion has a low-key, buzzy vibe that makes it feel like it’s worlds away from the city. At check-in, guests get a glass of Belle Meade Bourbon and a house history lesson, which touches on everything from doctors in the attic to 1980s wrestlers. Every detail is thoughtful, from local woodwork that includes a Clue-inspired “hidden” door to the surprisingly maneuverable deep copper tubs. Throw in the quaint front porch — rocking chairs, sunflowers — and you’ve got the perfect place to unwind. 

See

Start at The IDEA Hatchery, a mini village that sells goods from a rotating cast of local startups that get a chance to thrive thanks to small spaces and reasonable rent. Cooks must visit Coutelier Nashville, a small knife shop where French Laundry-level chefs sell exquisite Japanese knives. If that sounds intimidating, don’t worry — these folks are exceedingly chill, so go find the knife that will change your culinary life. Next door, duck into High Garden Woodland Tea House & Sipping Apothecary. While that name might register 98.5 on the Pretentious Hippie Scale, the place makes up for it with an enchanting woodland vibe and ginger-honey tea that you should sip as you stroll through nearby East Park. For music, The Basement East books the best midsize shows in town, but they often sell out, so plan ahead. If you’d rather play it loose, drop into The 5 Spot, long one of the city’s best places to catch live music. 

Eat

Start the day with a Vietnamese coffee-cake muffin from Slow Hand Coffee and Bakeshop, or stop into Five Daughters Bakery for a chocolate sea-salt 100-layer doughnut so psychotically good it’s worth the 10 miles you’ll have to run to burn it off. For lunch, Kawai Poké Co. bowls are fresh, filling and splendid to look at. At 6 p.m., it’s time for The Treehouse’s Oyster Happy Hour, where you can score briny, beautiful bivalves for $1.50 a piece. Eat dinner at Peninsula, a Spanish-and-Portuguese-inspired restaurant known for its adventurous menu, creative gin-and-tonics and jovial service — along with a braised rabbit dish featuring the world’s best broth. To turn up, head to No. 308 for The Pawpaw (Mexican Coke, bourbon, salted peanuts) and stumble next door to Dino’s for animal-style fries. To turn down, stop at Attaboy, a hidden, no-menu speakeasy where you tell the bartenders what you like (or hate) and they magically make you something you love.

Breeze through Olive and Sinclair’s $5 chocolate-making tour, or taste free samples in the shop to find your favorite. Complete your goody bag at Woodland Wine Merchant. The fact that the city’s best rare wines are sold in an ugly-ass old bank building in Five Points — now staffed with friendly wine experts — is utterly charming and utterly Nashville.