Lunchtime Poll: Who's the Bigger Turkey ... Kid Rock or Eminem?

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

was a close one — when it came down to Steve Albini versus Prince, though, Cream readers ultimately sided with The Purple One. But while I promised the loser would be "put on an ice floe and cut away to sea," instead let's keep Albini and reserve his spot for Eminem or Kid Rock.

Ugh. I did not expect to still be groaning about Kid Rock and Eminem's existence in 2014. Yet here we are.

But Eminem continues proving he has the brain power of a seventh-grade boy who's just discovering which buttons to push when trying to really shock his peers — he has threatened to rape Iggy Azalea and threatened to punch Lana Del Rey in the face "twice, like Ray Rice," all because, it appears, they are successful women and somehow, in Em's world, that's worthy of punishment.

Madeleine Holden sums it up perfectly in her genius piece "Eminem: You’re Too Old, Let Go, It’s Over," published on Wondering Sound earlier this week:

The problem with Eminem is not just that he’s a cheerleader for violence against women (although, sorry to be quaint, but that’s still a problem), it’s that he’s no longer novel; he’s stale and about as relevant in 2014 as yellow-tinted glasses and the Y2K bug. Mathers has long been eclipsed by a wave of rappers who exceed him both in terms of talent and ability to generate buzz, and his refusal to dip out gracefully from the scene is becoming uncomfortable to watch.

Kid Rock is also proving to be hilariously irrelevant, though in a less misogynistic way. Just this morning

into his upcoming album First Kiss, where he reportedly takes aim at Coldplay, social media and "hipsters." Yeah, Kid Rock? That's the shit that really

? A fuckin' adult-contemporary rock band and kids wearing tight jeans?

Want to know what white male privilege is? Take a look. It's right there, existing in two men who each have a microphone but decide to barf out rape threats and take Chris Martin down a notch, as though there's nothing else happening in the world worth calling out. (To be fair, I suppose, Kid Rock does say he has a song about guns that he promises will "not be considered politically correct" so there's that.)

ANYWAY. They both, in my opinion, look pretty ridiculous and out of touch, as though they've done no emotional growth since first making headlines as "edgy" artists in the ’90s. So, on this Thanksgiving-eve Lunchtime Poll I pose this question: Who's the biggest turkey? Is it Eminem or Kid Rock?

Gobble gobble!