Bring on the Wet-Naps and breath mints, it's time for another official Nashville Scene Flavor Experiment™! Though the wounds caused by the Swedish Fish Oreo taste-test have barely begun to heal, I couldn't resist buying up the latest round of weird-o (read: cash-grabbing) Lay's flavors. I just had to foist them upon my co-workers' half-asleep tastebuds, because few things bring people together better than eating strange-flavored food at 10:30 in the morning, right? (Related: I don't think my officemates like me very much.)
If you'll recall, the last time Lay's hopped on the limited-edition flavor train, they served up an All-American smörgåsbord featuring New York Reuben, Southern Biscuits and Gravy, Greektown Gyro and West Coast Truffle Fries. It was mostly a disaster — the only good to come of it was when J.R. Lind ate all the chips at once and declared their combined flavor to be "Old Country Buffet." (We miss you, J.R.!)
This latest round, though, bravely crosses the confining borders of the ol' U.S. of A. and pairs the classic potato chip with some popular cuisine found around the world. Flavors include: Chinese Szechuan Chicken, Brazilian Picanha, Indian Tikka Masala and Greek Tzatziki. Yum, maybe! (Related: These options all sound extremely safe and boring compared to some of the flavors found in China. Blueberry?!? Wha? Actually, I'd try that.)
So what is in these chips? Well, a couple of the ingredient lists are fairly innocuous — spices and actual butter are in the Tikka Masala, for example. (Mmm ... butter chips.) But the real surprise was discovering that the Szechuan Chicken has three different forms of dead bird. There's chicken broth, chicken powder and chicken fat! And they smell like chicken barf!
But what do they taste like? That is the most important part. Here are our reactions after carefully examining each specimen:
Brazilian Picanha
"These literally taste like nothing."
"Nah."
Chinese Szechuan Chicken
"Blech! These are disgusting. [Spits half-chewed chip mush into garbage.] I don’t think I want to eat meat-flavored things in a chip form."
"Surprisingly, I liked this one. It's sort of like a bag containing both barbecue chips and Sriracha chips. No, I'm not high right now."
Indian Tikka Masala
"These are my favorite of them all. They're spicy and it tastes like real Tikka Masala sauce. I can tell this aftertaste will last for days, though."
"I think Lay's puts their strongest contenders in the Kettle Cooked style, because those are always my favorite. The crispiness makes everything taste better!"
Greek Tzatziki
"They’re a good substitute for sour cream and onion."
"Mostly tastes like dill with a little garlic, which is fine."
"I want to like these, but the fake cucumber essence gives 'em a real Bath & Body Works cucumber lotion vibe."
And finally, after sampling all the chips, one anonymous Scenester had this to say:
"I have a healthy fear of every single one of those chips. And not just because of the ingredients. I fear these chips could hurt me. (And yes I'm talking about pooping.)"
