Love Hurts' Marvin Gable (the ever-effervescent Ke Huy Quan) hangs up his hitman’s gun and grimace to become a cheery cookie-baking real estate agent. But before retiring, he secretly spared the life of his associate Rose (Ariana DeBose), who returns on Valentine’s Day to create chaos and force a confrontation between Marvin and his heartless kingpin brother Knuckles (Daniel Wu). This family drama opens the door for some wickedly orchestrated fights and shenanigans from stunt coordinator turned director JoJo Eusebio (Black Panther, John Wick).
In a thrilling sequence early on in the film, we’re with the camera inside Marvin’s refrigerator as food flies out like projectiles, a head smashes in the door and Marvin himself gets shoved inside like some unlucky twerp in a locker. Knuckles’ two burly underlings (André Eriksen and former Seattle Seahawk Marshawn Lynch) lift Marvin's chilly cage above their heads and hurl it straight to the floor ... where my jaw also happens to remain.
Marvin’s journey hinges on accepting his romantic feelings for Rose — those feelings are the reason he let her live in the first place. We’re told several times that the two have a history, but the telling isn’t enough. The 83-minute film doesn’t take a breath to develop ample romantic or sexual tension between the two characters, which sadly deprives the final act of a solid emotional punch.
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The only palpable romance sparks between Marvin’s burnt-out assistant Ashley (Lio Tipton) and a knife-wielding poet known as The Raven (Mustafa Shakir), who connect when she finds him on her boss’s floor beaten half to death by office supplies. (The same way my parents met.) Unlike with Marvin and Rose, Eusebio and the writers give this delightful pairing the time and attention to fall for each other, resulting in some of the biggest laughs and sweetest moments.
Love Hurts plays out like any relationship: When it’s good, it’s fireworks. And when it’s bad, you’re counting down the minutes until another hitman gets thrown across your living room. The dialogue and exposition plod occasionally, DeBose feels sorely underutilized, and you might pull a muscle if you start wondering why Knuckles allowed Marvin to become a real estate agent or why Rose and Marvin went into hiding without changing their names. But for all the film’s faults, Quan brings his A game to every scene, and he kept me smiling.
If you’re looking for romance this Valentine’s Day, this may not be a match. But if silly gags and glorious action make you melt, Love Hurts is a fridgeful of fun.
