Love and Monsters
We’re in the home stretch for Halloween 2020. Maybe you’ve got your own proprietary socially distanced candy-delivery system. Maybe you’ve got the front door boarded over with signs to move along. Maybe you’ve got bags of candy to distract you from losing hope because people can’t just put on a damn mask. Maybe your coven/polycule/congregation has some sort of event planned, for real or in a virtual space. There’s a lot of possibilities knocking around this season, and for that, I have undertaken the following guide. One of the following 12 films is exactly what you’re looking for this Samhain. As always, look back at past installments for more good stuff to stream: March 26, April 2, April 9, April 16, April 23, April 30, May 7, May 14, May 21, May 28, June 4, June 11, June 18, June 25, July 2, July 9, July 16, July 23, July 30, Aug. 6, Aug. 13, Aug. 20, Aug. 27, Sept. 3, Sept. 10, Sept. 17, Sept. 24, Oct. 1, Oct. 15.
Something kinky and ghoulish:
Well, you can’t say they didn’t start out in the right place. Writer-director Brannon Braga (several Star Trek incarnations, The Orville) takes a stab at some legendary work by the great Clive Barker with what was originally going to be a new series but instead got revamped into an interconnected film. The filmmakers made a serious mistake in not just sticking to Barker’s stories (see also Monsterland, an incredibly well-done but deeply unpleasant streaming series ostensibly taken from the great Nathan Ballingrud’s work), but what’s there is operatically ghoulish and unforgettable in impact (even if sometimes it veers way too close to Edward Lee-level cruelty). There’s nothing else like it.
Hubie Halloween
Something silly and jovial that’ll keep everyone entertained:
Adam Sandler, back in manchild mode, is pleasantly charming in this Salem-set adventure where wrongs get righted, the PG-13 envelope gets pushed, and Steve Buscemi steals every scene not nailed down. You have to respect any film whose central thesis echoes the philosophy of the Bryan Fuller Hannibal TV series, and also, June Squibb in tacky T-shirts is never not funny.
Something to scratch that creature-feature itch:
Love and Monsters at drive-ins and on video on demand
A post-apocalyptic romance that covers a lot of emotional ground, Love and Monsters is an entertaining and well-paced adventure featuring Dylan O’Brien (the Maze Runner series, Teen Wolf) as an amiable guy crossing the monster-infested land to reconnect with his high school girlfriend. Will lessons about communication be learned? Yes. But lessons have to vie for space amid all the amazing creatures on display here. All the wildlife we take for granted is big and bad and ready to mess humanity up, and it’s a domestic kaiju fest.
Something gothic and shocking:
An inspiration to Rob Zombie, this down-and-dirty black-and-white tale of a family crippled by generations of inbreeding and homicidal impulses is delirious and freaky. You don’t want to play Spider with the Merrie family.
House
Something absolutely insane and trippy:
House (1977) on HBO Max and The Criterion Channel
This midnight-movie stalwart sends a bunch of schoolgirls to a country house where reality itself fractures. The piano has a taste for fingers! There’s something in the well! A broken heart can never heal without love! Jealousy unmakes even the strongest bonds! Just what is up with the cat that keeps deforming the universe?! Pay a visit to House, and you’ll never be the same.
Something to rock 'n' roll with when Rocky Horror is sold out:
There will always be a light over at the Frankenstein place. But sometimes you just want a different kind of horror-rock vibe, and Brian DePalma has your back in this instance. Taking Gaston LeRoux’s The Phantom of the Opera and doping it up on glam-rock excess and ’70s energy, Phantom of the Paradise is a lot of fun, and the songs (courtesy of co-star Paul Williams) are superb. With Suspiria’s Jessica Harper and Gerrit Graham as the legendary Beef. Give it a spin; you won’t regret it.
Some Southern horror:
One of the most disturbing films made in Mississippi, The Beast Within is a dark fable with all the drama of Tennessee Williams and all the grand guignol cruelties one could hope for. Cycles of violence, class inequality, the trauma of metabolizing sexual assault, cicada culture, and a monster transformation both infamous and famous. Co-star Ronny Cox also wrote the theme song, and star Paul Clemens is exceptional as a doomed teen beast.
Something visionary and gross that will also make a viewer reconsider their devotion to the corporate world:
This movie is lush, cruel and stuffed to the brim with unforgettable images. A middle-management cog (Dane DeHaan) attempts to retrieve an industry titan from his retreat to a legendary Tyrolean spa. Once there, he uncovers an unholy secret, the mysteries of love, carnivorous critters and controversial views on dentistry.
Something family-friendly and timeless that also understands how today is:
Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase on HBO
With a few scares but nothing too supernatural or disturbing, this latest incarnation of America’s teen detective (Sophia Lillis from It and Gretel and Hansel) is smart, relatable and curious. Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase director Katt Shea (Stripped to Kill, Poison Ivy) has a knack for children’s and YA mystery and the dynamics of young women’s friendships, and Linda Lavin pops up as a distinctive old lady with an amazing house. A surprisingly entertaining effort from all involved.
High Anxiety
Something that handles suspense and comedy equally well:
Mel Brooks, during his peak years, never met a genre he couldn’t wrestle to the ground. And High Anxiety, his 1977 tribute to the films of Alfred Hitchcock, is a masterpiece of characterization, design and execution. As Dr. Richard Harpo Thorndyke (Brooks) is called under mysterious circumstances to take over a California mental institution, he uncovers a shocking conspiracy to bleed bank accounts dry and kill off anyone who gets in the way. But the nefarious Dr. Montague (Harvey Korman) and Nurse Diesel (Cloris Leachman) didn’t count on Thorndyke and the intrepid Victoria Brisbane (Madeline Kahn at her best) to unmake their web of intrigue with showbiz style and late-’70s comedy.
Something real, for the true crime fan. Or something that gets at the bleak sadness of being alive right now:
This isn't the terrible fictional narrative (and there are many variants), but rather the documentary about the attempted murder that catapulted the Slenderman from internet back alleys and countless creepypastas to international news. Beware the Slenderman is a deeply sad and ultimately tragic story that will make you consider how our legal, medical and mental health systems are actually working. You won’t sleep well, but not for supernatural reasons.
Something unexpected, maybe even a little sexy:
Director Janet Greek tweaks several established tropes in this 1988 tale of a cult escapee (the late Kelly Preston) who builds a new life with a hunky yuppie even as memories and remnants of her previous life resurface. Something unspeakable lurks just in the shadows in Spellbinder, and it’s wild to see the folk-horror genre move to Southern California and thrive in its new digs.
