In 2014, comedian, musician, podcaster and Nashvillian Chris Crofton asked the Scene for an advice column, so we gave him one. Crowning himself the “Advice King,” Crofton shares his hard-won wisdom with whoever seeks it. Follow Crofton on Twitter and Instagram (@thecroftonshow), and check out his The Advice King Anthology and Cold Brew Got Me Like podcast. To submit a question for the Advice King, email bestofbread@gmail.com.
Dear Advice King,
Here's a heavy one since I was just reading the news: How can I justify my need for self-care when I know I have a social and moral obligation to fight for others?
—Windosia in Colorado
I realize that I am often billed as a “comedian,” but there isn’t a damn thing funny about what’s going on right now. All the best comedians tell the truth, so here’s mine: I am distraught.
Thanks for the question, Windosia. Short answer? Mindfulness is no substitute for a middle class. Meditation doesn’t work as a co-pay.
Crony capitalism has run so wildly amok that the richest country in the world can’t take care of its own citizens. People who work full-time jobs are having to depend on food banks. That’s where we are.
Then, last week, all Medicaid portals — what a fifth of Americans use to access their health care — were inaccessible. And federal grants and loans were “put on hold.” (A federal judge later halted the Trump administration’s funding freeze.)
Folks, that’s our money. That’s taxpayer money. That’s not Donald Trump’s money.
The university and medical center together reported $880 million in federal dollars last year
Slogans like “everything happens for a reason” ring hollow right now. Tell that to the Navajo people detained by ICE.
Not everything happens for a reason. Things are not good. Admitting that things are not good is a form of self-care.
Here’s a Bill Hicks quote that just entered my mind: “It's all about money, not freedom, y'all. OK? Nothing to do with fuckin’ freedom. If you think you're free, try going somewhere without fucking money, OK?”
When Freddie O’Connell, Nashville’s current mayor, ran for office, a thing he said over and over was, “I want you to stay.” He said that because many long-term residents are leaving Nashville. They are leaving because, while Nashville’s rents are rising, its quality of life has been descending. Increased traffic is a big thing negatively affecting Nashvillians, and that’s part of why Freddie decided to focus on improving and expanding public transportation. That sounded good to me. I like Freddie. I voted for Freddie. I told other people to vote for Freddie.
Last week, Donald Trump suspended federal money that would be essential for Freddie’s transit plan. Then a judge temporarily restored it. Then Trump rescinded the memo freezing the funds. But based on this madness, there’s a chance Freddie’s transit plan won’t be fully funded. Republicans aren’t good-faith negotiators. In fact, this “new” Republican Party might yank funding just to be mean to what they perceive as a liberal city. (See: conditions attached to California wildfire relief.)
And now this, from Jan. 30: “Trump’s new transportation secretary directs staff to give preferential funding to ‘communities with marriage and birth rates higher than the national average.’”
At this moment in American history, making deals with Republicans is a waste of time. It’s not 2009. There is no point in being nice to them, because they’re not being nice (understatement). So I say … Mr. Mayor, take off the gloves! Fight fire with fire! Fight Gov. Bill Lee’s voucher plan — tooth and nail. Fight against the legislation making it a class-E felony for a public official to adopt sanctuary city policies. (Yes, that’s real.) Halt this ridiculous third push for the Fusus surveillance network. No one wants it. They said it twice already. And — most of all — fight mass deportations.
Controversial legislation costs nearly half of $910 million budget passed for governor’s priorities
I just came back from a week in Chicago, where the mayor and the governor have both said that they will protect their citizens against these reckless, often illegal ICE raids. Mr. Mayor, can you please hold a press conference and reassure the vulnerable populations in Nashville? If I could, I’d call a press conference and say it, but … um, I didn’t win my run for Metro Council.
Self-care starts with being honest with yourself: I don’t feel safe. I’m afraid of Gov. Bill Lee. I’m afraid of Donald Trump. I’m afraid that no one is going to stand up to them. There, I said it. Now LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOO!
In the meantime, the people who seem to be most effectively addressing the reality of living in a red state during the collapse of capitalism is Open Table Nashville. They provide material assistance to the poor and unhoused. Please donate to them here.
