It'll scare the Hell out of you!
There's another Cornerstone Church spectacle taking place this weekend. And it's Halloween-themed!
You know what's scarier than ghosts, goblins, gays and government-run health care? Eternal damnation! That's what. So Pastor Maury Davis figures he's got the scariest show in town.
The ringmaster of Churchus Maximus says on the church's website that this will be the largest illustrated sermon Cornerstone has ever produced. Bigger than soldiers rappelling from the rafters. Bigger than an indoor fireworks display. Because what looms larger in the sermons of fire-and-brimstone preachers than Hell? And the many, many things you do every day to get you there?
"What would I find if I came to your home — Drugs? Pornography? Alcohol? Abuse?," Davis asks on his website.
All of the above, if he happened to drop by Pith's house. But does self-abuse count?
"People are living in Hell-on-Earth situations, not realizing their lives will guide them to the place of Eternal Torment. On Oct. 31 and Nov. 1, we will fully illustrate the consequences of hosting secret sins in your home."
Think of the kiddies. No exhilarated, exuberant giggling as they shuffle out of some spooky Halloween funhouse freshly scared. Instead, Little Johnny will mope out of church fearing an immolated eternity for that Playboy stashed beneath the bed. Take heart, Johnny. There are scarier things in the world.
