Of the many things that come in over the transom here at Southcomm World HQ, some of them are angry phone calls. Today, within sight of the City Paper's demise, we got maybe my favorite of all time from an unlisted number:
I think that it's shameful that you fired Drew Johnson just because he wrote that thing about Johnny Paycheck song. The president [should] too take that job and shove it. He's a liar and he's a snake in the grass, President Obama!. I'm a veteran and I fought for rights, man. Together we fought for freedom to speak our, so we could speak our minds. I think it's shameful that you did that to one of your own people just to please that asshole who sits in Washington. You know, I'm canceling my subscription to your paper.
You can hear the voice mail here:
Let's break this down. These are the facts:
1) The City Paper did not fire Drew Johnson. Drew Johnson worked at the Chattanooga Times Free Press.
2) The City Paper does not currently have an editorial page, nor has it in quite some time.
3) Drew Johnson did not write about a Johnny Paycheck song. He used the title of a Johnny Paycheck song to tell the president what he could do with his jobs plan (which is an interesting way to have a discourse over federal policy, but I digress).
4) The president cannot actually shove a jobs plan.
5) The president may be a liar, but in this instance, he was only introducing a jobs plan. We rate this statement as Pants On Fire.
6) The president is not an actual snake.
7) The president does not live in grass.
8) Freedom of speech does not actually cover this. Drew Johnson has the right to say in public whatever it is that he wants to say. But the TFP can fire him for whatever reasons they want.
9) We did not do this to one of our own people. Our people have problems of their own without worrying about changing headlines on deadline to take a cheap shot at the president.
9A) Many employees at the City Paper are losing their job for much bigger reasons than doing something stupid, so you'll forgive us for not hopping on the Drew Johnson Martyrdom Tour, currently playing on cable TV outlets near you.
10) There are many assholes in Washington. You're going to have to be more specific.
11) We're a free weekly paper. If you're getting a subscription, we have really fucked something up.
Play us out, Paycheck ...