Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Men's Health Thinks We're Smuttier than Memphis

Posted By on Tue, May 8, 2012 at 6:15 AM

Were smuttier than this?!
  • We're smuttier than this?!
Men's Health has published its rankings of the U.S.' smuttiest cities. We're way down on the list, coming in at 49, behind such debauched places as Boise and Cleveland (because when I think of awesome places to sin, I think "Cleveland." Please.)

But if the idea that we're somehow more prudish than Cleveland didn't convince you that there's something wrong with this list, the fact that we're supposed to be naughtier than Memphis should do it. They come in at 75, just ahead of New York.

Yes, we're supposedly smuttier than New York City! New York City, where a man has made a career of walking around with a guitar, wearing only a cowboy hat and his tighty-whities. When was the last time you saw a sober man in only his underwear playing in public here?

Here's Men's Health's criteria:

We peered through a statistical peephole to tabulate the following criteria: the number of DVDs purchased, rented, or streamed (AdultDVDEmpire.com); adult entertainment stores per city (StorErotica.net); rate of porn searches (Google Insights); and, for fans of soft-core, percentage of Cinemax-subscribing households (SimplyMap).

Hmph. A bunch of folks sitting at home watching Skin-emax while they masturbate on the couch? That's what counts as smutty? Far be it from me to judge Men's Health, but I think they need to get out to better parties.

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