Friday, April 27, 2012

Gateway Sexual Activity on the Floor of the House!

Posted By on Fri, Apr 27, 2012 at 2:29 PM

This may or may not be The List
  • This may or may not be The List

Will Gov. Bill Haslam be forced to review The Secret List of Unmentionable Sex Acts?

It's looking that way now that the House has passed an abstinence-focused sex-education bill and sent it on to Haslam's desk. The bill has already passed the Senate, where it's sponsor refuted claims that the bill would install abstinence-only education programs.

The bill is certainly redundant and arguably unnecessary, but it's effect is somewhat in question. Representatives from the state's Board of Education confirmed in committee that it is in line with current state law and said they didn't see the need for it. It also allows for discussion of safe sex and contraception.

Some Democrats argued, however, that it makes teachers vulnerable to undeserved litigation or discipline because a parent might feel they've encouraged, or not done enough to discourage, certain behaviors.

Today, though, the opposition mostly spent their time trying to bait the bill's sponsor, Rep. Jim Gotto and others, to actually read from the list of sexplanatory definitions taken from a portion of existing state code. (Look at them on your own, freak.)

The list is so X-rated that House Democratic Caucus Chairman Mike Turner said he needed a cigarette after reading it. Despite the repeated requests for further explanation though, Gotto refused to read off the list of unmentionable sex acts, disappointing onlookers and a visiting group of schoolchildren whose lives would have been changed forever.

Turner also made a point to remind members that Stephen Colbert has been making profitable hay out of such proposals, which is true.

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