Monday, August 8, 2011

Harpeth River Park: A Review

Posted by on Mon, Aug 8, 2011 at 6:12 AM

Location: The map shows it on Coley Davis Road just behind the Shell
Size of Park: I don't know for sure
Crowds: Light
Approximate Age of Patrons: Unknown
Topics of Conversation: "Um, is this it?"
Stray Dogs Seen: None
Types of Vehicles in Parking Lots: Mine and a couple of trucks
Perceived Safety: High
Number of Gunshots Heard: None
Dog Friendliness: Dogs forbidden
Number of pitbulls sighted: None
Accessibility: Not sure what there is to access, but looked okay
Incorporation of Local History: None
Recommended Patrons: Soccer players?

This is the second time I've gone looking for this park and the second time I came away unsure if I actually found the park. I'm not going back a third time, so if the big soccer fields with the foreboding signs aren't Harpeth River Park, then Harpeth River Park isn't getting reviewed.

And yet, if it is a Metro park, it's a weird one. There are no signs identifying it (though there are a ton of signs). There are a bunch of soccer fields, which makes sense, since some kind of soccer league plays there. But there's also a Port-A-Potty under some high-tension lines — like, directly underneath, like, "Give me cancer and psychic powers while I'm shitting and reading graffiti" underneath. And at the back of the parking lot there were all these little trash berms.

There was a main part where it looked like there was some kind of building — maybe a concession stand — but a sign blocked the way to it. In general, I just wasn't sure if this place actually was a public park and, if it was, if it was actually open. I drove around some and saw that things seemed to be in good shape, but I just wasn't sure I wasn't trespassing, so I didn't go hiking back by the river or anything.

An important thing to know about this park/place is that dogs are forbidden. The signs say that this is to protect young children, but another sign says they also do some K-9 training at this place/park/whatever, so I suspect they also want your doofus dog to not be bothering dogs in training. If you're even welcome there at all. And I can't say for sure that you are, unless you're in the soccer league or training your police dog.

If it is a public park, Metro needs to do something abut the piles of trash. But, hey, if it's not, build your weird trash monolith, soccer occultists! Raise it high enough and we'll all marvel at it from the interstate. Oh, and speaking of the interstate, that was the first time I'd tried Briley to 40W since they've got it all open. That's really nice, isn't it?

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