Let's make a list:
2. Someone gave someone a picture of Jesus as a gift, like it goes without question that someone could use a big old honking picture of Jesus.
3. Someone stole the picture of Jesus.
4. Someone stole the picture of Jesus out of a closet in a trailer.
5. The Jesus picture thief attempted to sell the picture of Jesus to a church, thus resulting in the Jesus thief being caught by police.
6. The picture of Jesus ends up being a priceless relic that has been missing for the last century and a half.
Yes, people, the huge picture of Jesus that looks disturbingly like the offspring of a True Blood vampire and Osama bin Laden — the one that was just sitting in the trailer closet of a dude named "Frosty" — is a priceless relic.
How awesome is that?