Thursday, August 4, 2011

The Good News: Jesus is Out of the Closet

Posted By on Thu, Aug 4, 2011 at 12:45 PM

This story out of East Tennessee could not be any more quintessentially Tennessean unless it involved moonshine or meth (and I don't think we can rule out moonshine or meth being a factor until we hear Kelly Ghormley's side of the story).

Let's make a list:

1. Jesus
2. Someone gave someone a picture of Jesus as a gift, like it goes without question that someone could use a big old honking picture of Jesus.
3. Someone stole the picture of Jesus.
4. Someone stole the picture of Jesus out of a closet in a trailer.
5. The Jesus picture thief attempted to sell the picture of Jesus to a church, thus resulting in the Jesus thief being caught by police.
6. The picture of Jesus ends up being a priceless relic that has been missing for the last century and a half.

Yes, people, the huge picture of Jesus that looks disturbingly like the offspring of a True Blood vampire and Osama bin Laden — the one that was just sitting in the trailer closet of a dude named "Frosty" — is a priceless relic.

How awesome is that?

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