Thursday, July 14, 2011

You Are So Nashville If ... You Think Your Entries Were Funnier Than the Winners

Posted by on Thu, Jul 14, 2011 at 8:02 AM

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Finally! It's time! The most anticipated issue of the year! Yes, you guessed it! It's my cover story outlining how the Metro Council archives the minutes from its bi-monthly meetings!

But seriously, folks, it's time for our annual YOU ARE SO NASHVILLE IF ... issue, or as insiders call it, YASNI. (Now you're an insider!)

No, we're not going to tell you all the winning entries in this post, for cryin' out loud. Heck, we had to wade through almost 1,300 entries just to separate the wheat from the chaff, so the least you could do is read the damn thing! But we will give a shout-out to this year's winner, Dana Delworth. (We were stunned to find that the winner is also the mother of the charming girl featured in the winning photograph from our 2010 Photography Contest. That is sooooo Nashville.)

To whet your appetite, here's a little snippet from the introduction, in which our witless fearless leader eloquently puts the whole dang thing in perspective — too much ****ing perspective:

... If you want to know what's on the public's mind in the Year of Our Lord Help Us 2011, just start with this year's winning entry — made up entirely of the word our State Senate told the world was unspeakable. From those red-eyed menaces filling the air with their infernal screeching and whining — wait, we already mentioned the General Assembly — to a certain SNL vet whose footsteps onto the Ryman stage ended up in his mouth, you found no shortage of material. We learned that you're getting your news from street vendors, your books from the Internet (but not by choice), and nothing but static from WRVU.

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