It ought to be pretty easy to insult the Tennessee Democrats and their Unity Breakfast with Al Gore. There's so much to be snarky about. You could easily go with any of the following:
"$250? For $250, I'd better end up prominently featured in the next National Enquirer story about Al Gore."
"Looking at the sponsor list, it's apparent that some of us would be more welcome at the Ladies' Auxiliary Unity Breakfast."
"$250 for breakfast?! Well, I guess that keeps the riff-raff out."
Really, you could go with pretty much any variation on what a dickfest it is — or how much money they're charging when the party needs to appeal to regular Tennesseans, or just something that makes fun of Al Gore. It's not that difficult. In fact, until this very moment, I'd say that just about anyone could pull it off.
And then I read this, the press release the TNGOP has with the transcript of their anti-Unity Breakfast radio ad:
“Winning” Radio Ad Transcript
VO- Paid for by the Tennessee Republican Party.
CHARLIE SHEEN- Winning, anyone?
VO- Charlie Sheen knows about winning. But Tennessee Democrats? Well, Al Gore is hosting a Nashville Unity Breakfast with the largest gathering of losing Democrat politicians probably ever.
VO- Besides losing elections, Democrats have a lot to unify over; Barack Obama’s healthcare takeover, a failed budget-busting stimulus boondoggle, and trillion dollar deficits.
VO- Now that’s Democrat unity and a recipe for losing elections.
VO- Help us defeat Barack Obama. Go to TNGOP.org.
CHARLIE SHEEN- Losers. Winning. Buh bye.
Okay, it is true that when I think "The Tennessee Republican Party," I do think of drug-addled people making embarrassing fools of themselves in public, who've been arrested for domestic violence and gone through messy divorces. I hear a lot of "Now you can't tell anybody, but ..." gossip.
But I had no idea the TNGOP thought this was a selling point!
So this is what the TNGOP thinks are the alternatives? A bunch of losers and squares, vs. folks who hold up Charlie Sheen as their model of sanity?
I mean, shoot, that's what I think, too!
If we think about it this way, the Unity Breakfast is already a great success. The TNGOP has managed to portray itself to average Tennesseans exactly the way the Democrats would want — as so hopelessly out of touch with reality and commonplace values that they'd identify themselves with Charlie Sheen in the midst of publicly losing his damn mind.
Good job, Democrats! And next year at election time, remember Tennessee Republicans drawing upon the sound judgment of Mr. Warlock Tigerblood.