Cherry’s the mastermind behind Halleluah [sic], a drama pilot he wrote and will executive produce through ABC Studios. The logline: When the Tennessee town of Hallelujah finds itself being torn apart by forces of good and evil, a stranger arrives to bring justice, peace and quite possibly restore the faith in the world that the residents so desperately need. The episodes will be punctuated by songs sung by the gospel choir, which serves as a sort of Greek chorus.
Okay then! Considering Cherry’s love of broad farce, I’m concerned about Tennesseans possibly being portrayed as a bunch of ignorant yokels. Read the description again: you know ABC is already hard at work to reanimate the corpse of Ossie Davis so they can cast him as the resident Magical Negro.
But! Because I am kind, and an insatiable fan of television (not to mention a Tennessean), I have a few helpful tips:
1. Actually film in Tennessee as much as you can. It’s always fun to see local landmarks on television! Maybe the devil can make the Nathan Bedford Forrest statue on I-65 come to life and stab Ossie Davis.
2. Do not, under any circumstances, use the Jeff Buckley version of “Hallelujah” for the theme song. Oh, I know you want to, but it’s really played out. Be a champ and use the Leonard Cohen original, just so I can stop associating it with that godawful sex scene in The Watchmen.
3. Make the heroic protagonist Native American. Or a woman. Or both! I dare you.
4. East, Middle and West Tennessee are not interchangeable, so choose the official setting of fictional Hallelujah carefully. I mean, those freaks in Knoxville probably don’t even know who Bob Mueller is.
5. Having trouble casting the role of Cynical Town Bitch? Look no further, Cherry pie! I can have head shots on your desk in a week.
You know, I'm being a little unfair to this idea. According to the same link none of you clicked on, ABC has also picked up a soap titled Good Christian Bitches!, set in Dallas. You win this stereotype round, Texas. ABC must really miss LOST.