Thursday, April 15, 2010
Phillips Thanks, New York, for Tea Party Candidate Forwarding Bestiality Emails
Posted by Betsy Phillips on Thu, Apr 15, 2010 at 10:43 AM
It was getting so that you could hardly turn on your computer without reading about how some nincompoop in this state had sent out a racist email, as if a neighboring state had hired hackers to make us look like morons.
It was like "Tennessee" = "Nincompoops sending racist emails."
"Oh, yeah, I'm from Tennessee. You know, the state with all the racist emails?"
It was embarrassing.
So I would just like to thank the state of New York for being home to Tea Party candidate Carl Paladino, who has now set the bar so high (or low, as the case may be) for forwarding inappropriate emails that it would take a concerted effort to do worse.
Not only was he regularly forwarding racist emails, he was forwarding pornographic emails — including ones depicting women having sex with horses. Naturally, he blamed this on Democrats, who apparently possessed his fingers and clicked "forward" whenever he opened one of these emails.
Anyway, when people now think of disgustingly inappropriate emails sent by people who should know better, they will think "New York." On behalf of Tennessee, Carl Paladino, I thank you.
Comments (4)
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I'll join you in congratulating Mr Paladino, Betsy. New York deserves him. He fits right in with Charles Schumer, Charles Rangel, Eliot Spitzer, Adam Clayton Powell, Ivan Boesky and Boss Tweed. (Only a partial list of some of NY's finest.) Impatience with Tennessee red-neckism not withstanding, this displaced Yankee is grateful to be transplanted here – from there, thank you very much. My intent is never to cross the New York State line again in this life.
So, whatever literary bitching I may indulge myself with aside, I truly do love this place. God it's good to be here and not there. And I intend for my ashes to be scattered over middle Tennessee. Amen.
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Well, I believe I speak for all Middle Tennesseans when I ask that you alert the media the day before this happens. I already feel like all the pollen is like giant boulders in my eyes. I can't imagine what bits of you would feel like.
"Well, I believe I speak for all Middle Tennesseans when I ask that you alert the media the day before this happens. I already feel like all the pollen is like giant boulders in my eyes. I can't imagine what bits of you would feel like."
I took that the wrong way.
Ha, now I'm totally going to be thinking of W D Humpfree's naughty bits all evening. Thanks, milkman. Thanks.
Humpfree... naughty bits.. Jesus. I am fourteen!
