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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

By the Way Morning Roundup: Snowstorm Edition

Posted by Tracy Moore on Wed, Jan 6, 2010 at 8:55 AM

click to enlarge snowbird.jpeg
Storm the grocery stores! Barricade the children! We're supposed to get two to four inches of snow tomorrow. And not just any kind of snow, the light powdery kind that blows around and decreases visibility. (Who says Nashville isn't the new L.A.?) ... Gov. Bredesen decided against a proposal to release some 3,000 inmates convicted of nonviolent felonies early to save money. The reason? It won't work, he says--judges will just fill the empty spaces again immediately with overflow from the county jails. ... Crazy old coot alert: Former Belle Meade science teacher Louis Levine is in court today to attend a hearing regarding his upcoming scandalous sex trial. Levine is accused of giving students drugs and booze and filming them having sex without their knowledge. And he's accused of doing it for, like, three decades. Weirdo pic of Levine with a creepy beard and pets on hand sold separately. ... Excited about Vampire Weekend playing the Ryman April 5? Careful, I think it's a trick question. ... Bright Lights, Big City: Hey kids, heard about the new "downtown code?" No, it's not a secret new gang signal, it's a new set of zoning standards approved by Metro Council, and it sounds like a progressive move toward downtown redevelopment. Instead of continuing to employ limiting zoning regulations based on land use, it encourages more pedestrian-friendly spaces. ... Seen a teal-green late-'90s Dodge pickup? It's on the lam after ramming into a cop's motorcycle and speeding off like an idiot. I'm not sure which is more surprising: That there are any stores still left at Hickory Hollow Mall, or that anyone is surprised the ones that are left are now leaving. Hot Topic and Chick-fil-A, among others, are scrambling outta the mall that used to be cool in the late '80s. Some area residents are, believe it or not, surprised. ... Speaking of two-headed freaks, Wilson County schools have to stop handing out Bibles for cripes' sakes, thanks to a small victory for the ACLU. Carroll-Oakland Elementary School principal Carol Ferrell actually brought in Gideons International reps to the gym one morning and talked to a fifth-grade class about when she got her first Bible and how totes precious it was, and then called students up to get their very own personal Bible in front of everyone, but then said no one had to take one. Right. That works. ... Maybe those Gideons reps were just warming up for an appearance at the Gay Christian Network Conference at the downtown Sheraton being held Jan. 7 through 10. It kicks off tomorrow.

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There is nothing I love more about Tennessee than Snowbird.

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Posted by Ashley Spurgeon on 01/06/2010 at 10:06 AM

Snowbird is gay and supports gay adoption! The values-loving voters of Middle Tennessee will surely reject Snowbird and his gay, homosexual, SEIU, Obama-Reid-Gay-Pelosi agenda.

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Posted by Andy Sere on 01/06/2010 at 10:39 AM

I know (hope?) that's not really Andy Sere, because attacking Snowbird is a surefire way to insure your candidate loses an election.

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Posted by JR on 01/06/2010 at 10:50 AM

In that case, I hope it is really Andy Sere.

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Posted by mr. pink on 01/06/2010 at 12:19 PM

Speaking of two to four inches, is that fuzzy, ill-framed photo of Snowbird from his 70s porn movie?

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Posted by Birdman on 01/06/2010 at 1:07 PM

Now that you mention it, he does have that Ron Jeremy look in his eyes, no?

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Posted by Tom Wood on 01/06/2010 at 2:12 PM

Look at his eyes bugging out. One can only imagine what's going on below the frame. Haven't been able to locate the film on youporn.com yet. Still searching diligently though. And thoroughly.
UPDATE!!! The Snowbird channel now says Nashville will get only about 1.5 inches.

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Posted by Birdman on 01/06/2010 at 2:38 PM

You've never seen the Snowbird sex tape? Let's just say the little guy's in it more for the fists than the weather.

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Posted by mr. pink on 01/06/2010 at 2:46 PM

Blowbird: School's Out
Sorry mom.

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Posted by Ashley Spurgeon on 01/06/2010 at 2:50 PM

Only 1.5 inches - down from 2 to 4. Must be cold, eh Snowbird?

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Posted by JR on 01/06/2010 at 3:15 PM

It shrinks? Why does it shrink?

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Posted by Elaine on 01/06/2010 at 3:28 PM

Like a frightened turtle

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Posted by Jerry on 01/06/2010 at 4:10 PM
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