Monday, October 12, 2009
Crazy Crap Shudder to Think: Cuddle Monsters on the Loose in Middle Tennessee
Posted by Tracy Moore on Mon, Oct 12, 2009 at 12:33 PM
"For the uninitiated, these are basically pajama parties where you cuddle with strangers in a non-sexual way." [Gag] "A Cuddle Party typically works like this: People pay $10 (to cover the price of snacks) and bring their jammies, which they change into in a private room. There's a 'welcoming circle' where people introduce themselves and talk about why they've come, and a facilitator goes over the Cuddle Party rules, such as keeping your pajamas on at all times and always asking permission before touching anyone, among other things." [Barf] "What happens at a Cuddle Party stays at a Cuddle Party." [For the love of all that's holy.] "Mr. Businessman may not want people to know that he's a cuddle monster on the weekends." [Vomitron 5000] "Seems like a great way to spread swine flu and meet people who were kicked off of eHarmony.com." (Correct response!)
Comments (17)
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This story in today's Tennesseean literally stopped me dead on my Stairmaster steps this morning, mostly because I got so nauseated I thought I was going to puke all over the equipment. Cuddle is the fingerboard on the blackboard scratching equivalent of yummy. or even worse, tummy. So horrifically gross.
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Sounds great for company morale. From now on, it's Cuddle Party Friday in the office. Uh, except for Toby. That's just gross.
No I've seriously been unable to get over this all morning. Knowing this is real has destroyed me. It's a window into my nightmares and it basically makes me want to go punch a homeless man in the face just so the world can realign itself into something resembling appropriate adult behavior. Because yes, it is more appropriate in my mind to punch a homeless man in the face (especially if he's in your business, trying to hug you) than paying $10 (!) and driving to Murfreesboro (!) to try and ignore secret pajamaboners from strangers. I was not made for this world.
This is some of the best stuff ever in this blog - hilarious. "Cuddle" or "cuddling" is one of my lest favorite words or expressions - along with "over the moon" and "cool beans". I can imagine the dj at one these parties - dressed like someone from Yacht Rock, and droppin a few Dan Fogelberg and Peter Cetera beats. Scuse me, miss - but could I have the next cuddle? I got some great moves I got from watching Cuddling with the Stars...
This is some of the best stuff ever in this blog - hilarious. "Cuddle" or "cuddling" is one of my lest favorite words or expressions - along with "over the moon" and "cool beans". I can imagine the dj at one these parties - dressed like someone from Yacht Rock, and droppin a few Dan Fogelberg and Peter Cetera beats. Scuse me, miss - but could I have the next cuddle? I got some great moves I got from watching Cuddling with the Stars...
I say it's weird, and I'm an authority on these things. Me, Mike Rees, of Nashville.
This actually does sounds like a great idea for non-sexual human contact, despite all the naysayers here.
I'm going to organize one of these parties and, because I feel they must be quite dejected these days, all the Titans cheerleaders will be invited. Oh, and Channel 4's Jennifer Johnson, too.
I checked the header bar when I read that article to make sure it isn't April 1st. Still can't wrap my arms around the concept.
"...try and ignore secret pajamaboners from strangers."
Best line in a long while.
This has to be one of the funniest posts and comment threads I've read on here for awhile. Completely made my day yesterday, so just had to come back today and say thank you.
grandfille,
'Somehow I think the Tennessean's Target Readership just fwowed up."
Are you suggesting that people at these 'cuddle parties' are just milneing around? Pooh on you.
Sounds to me like cuddle parties rank right up there with tittie bars in the erotica quotient. Since commercial copulation doesn't do it for me, Deja Vu, Ken's Gold et al are just places to endure the onset of blue balls. Unless, the artistry of one of the undercover covey of working girls generates a little private business. But that's not my thing.
My thing is good old fashioned raucous, raunchy balling. With someone who considers it her thing too. Somehow the exchange of money beforehand throws water on that fire before it ever gets going.
Cuddle parties do seem to offer another means of commerce for the ever alert courtier though. Then, when they've discovered how to penetrate our new, trendy, cuddle party system a whole new world ought to open up for covert cuddle monsters. And Ronal's Vice Squad will have a whole new world of esoteric erotica for their enjoyment too. Yea, verily.
