Thursday, September 24, 2009
Crazy Crap / Hargrove Coed Sues Coyote Ugly For Being Like Every Other Bar: Wet and Slippery
Posted by Brantley Hargrove on Thu, Sep 24, 2009 at 4:59 PM
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University of Kentucky student Brittany Barnes is suing Coyote Ugly because after mounting the bar, she slipped and took a plunge that resulted in injury. 
Personally, I'd like to sue Coyote Ugly, too, but not because a stupid college girl clambered atop a bar (by the way, they all tend to be slippery) fell off and cracked her noggin. I'd sue them for the proliferation of shticky, boozy, booby bars -- pale reflections of the Manhattan progenitor. Here's the progression: Big, shiny, Bruckheimer-produced Hollywood mess is made, wherein a doe-eyed aspiring songwriter with money woes gets a job tending bar, faces and meets challenges, wears midriff-baring Ts and generally looks hot. At some point in the movie that T gets wet. Soaked. Millions are made and critical reviews are roundly scathing.
But it's a Hollywood flick, so obviously this could be a model for identical bars across the country. It was bound to happen sooner or later: Bleary-eyed patron mounts bar. Evidence that daddy's girl, too, can be a bad, bad girl. The rest is history...in district court.
Believe it. It's happened before. Take Megan Zacher. Back in 2006, at the ripe age of 22, she was participating in a bar-dancing contest. A "Shakin' It Like Shakira" contest at Calico Jack's Cantina on 42nd Street and 2nd Avenue in New York, to be exact. She shook it like Shakira. So much so that she shook herself off of the bar and onto her ass. Naturally (because it's always a foregone conclusion), she sued. Like Barnes, rather than licking her wounds in abject humiliation, she's after a judgment or a settlement, whichever comes first...in New York State Supreme Court.
Be forewarned, hokey swill-dispensaries and hosts of dorky dancing contests, your patrons have no shame and, after a handful of Apple Pucker shots, no balance either.
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